Page 36 of Kiss Me Again

“You think crossing that line will cost you your job?”

She doesn’t nod right away, which makes me feel better about things. But she shrugs instead. “It just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do.”

“Because it’s hard for you to think of yourself as an employee instead of being the boss like you were at your restaurant?”

“Yeah. It’s hard for me to think of you as my boss. Not that you’renot, obviously, but I got so used to being a boss that I don’t put myself into the mindset of an employee around you. Plus, with the way we met…that sort of changes how I think about you. And I need to be more careful than that. You are my boss.”

“I get what you’re saying, and don’t misconstrue what I’m about to say as anything more than the words themselves. But Lily, I don’t really think of you as an employee, either.” I shake my head at myself. “When I come home, knowing my kids are well cared for, it makes my life easier. Most of the time, you cook dinner for all of us. We have a little routine every night…this is more comfortable than I’ve ever been with any other nanny we’ve had. Maybe that’s why it’s easy for me to overlook the boundaries that should probably be there. Things just fit.”

She nods. “Yeah. Same here.”

Be reasonable, Cormac. Hormones cannot be the reason you lost the best nanny the kids ever had. No matter how she makes you feel.“That said, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable here. Ever. I get what you’re saying about needing the job and the complications that could come into play if we took things…too far. So, if you’re okay with remaining as my employee, we will keep our hands to ourselves.”

“Like we agreed before?”

I nod, though it kills me. “Today was a great day. I haven’t been this relaxed in years, and I should have thought about what we were doing before we did it. I apologize, Lily.”

“But I started it—

“Yes, but one of us needs to be the grown-up, and since I’m the boss, I should have put a stop to it. That’s why I apologized.”

She sighs and stares at her feet for a moment. I have a feeling I could take all of that back and have her on me in a flash. As much as I want to, I can’t do that. Not to her or me. “Yeah. I should go—

“But you’ll be here tomorrow?”

Lily smiles and something in my chest rises. “Yes. I’ll be here tomorrow, Cormac. I like it here too much to stay away.” When she stands, though, she wobbles.

I hop up and help her stay on her feet, and before I know it, we’re face to face once more. Raspberries and wine in the air. Her lips, succulent and pink. Tension builds in my muscles as she leans in. I’m fighting the urge to meet her in the middle and murmur, “Professionals, right?”

She clears her throat and leans back. “Yeah. Professionals.”

“Let me walk you out.”

15

Cormac

Let me walk you out?She’s right. Iaman asshole.

Can’t help but think about it on the drive out to the construction site. No amount of loud rock music or cursing at fellow drivers will change what happened last night. I should have made a better move with Lily. Something we couldn’t ignore or take back. Something bigger than a kiss.

I want to see her come again. Want to make her moan my name. To make her feel…anything.

That first night, she seemed so alive, so charismatic. As much as she enjoys the kids, there’s something missing. She laughs and has fun with us, but it’s almost as though there’s a hollowness in it. Like she’s not entirely there with us. But the night we were together, that was not an issue. And last night as we kissed, that spark was back.

Maybe that’s the real reason she broke the kiss. It’s strange to think of someone as fearless as Lily Olson being afraid of anything, but last night, she was. And it didn’t seem like she was afraid of losing her job. Not really. There was too much hemming and hawing after the kiss, almost as though she was talking herself out of enjoying it.

But why?

Strange to think she would be afraid of pursuing me. It’s pretty obvious that I’m not about to fire her for anything like that. Perhaps it is not about me. Could be that she’s been hurt by some guy before—what woman past the age of eighteen hasn’t been?

I shake my head as I park the car and sit with that thought for a minute. I could be reading this all wrong, but it seems like Lily has been through something painful and is scared to get involved with anyone. That would explain the string of hook-ups she alluded to. From what I knew of chef culture via Abigail’s television habits, chefs are notorious bed-hoppers, but with Lily, it feels different from that.

It feels profound.

Getting out of the car, I shield my eyes from the sun. Even with sunglasses, it’s too bright outside for my liking. The earthworks crew has leveled so much of the land that there are few trees left and none that give shade anywhere near me. The walk to Beau’s trailer office blinds me further—sunlight reflecting on his white building is sharp, giving me a headache.

I knock and walk in when he calls out. “Hey.”

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