Page 32 of Merciless Sinner

“I’m okay.”

“How did it go with Seamus?” He searches my eyes.

“Fine. He seems okay. He told me a few things about my family. And friends.”

“Where you okay talking about them?”

“I have to be, don’t I? In a few days, I’m sure I’ll be meeting those same family and friends.”

“We’re being careful with who knows about your return.”

That gives me a small comfort. “I guess that’s something. It’s just going to be difficult wheneveryoneknows. I could be talking to the person who wanted me dead and wouldn’t know.”

His face hardens. “You’re safe here.”

“Until I’m not.”

His gaze deepens. “Iwill make sure you are safe.”

“That’s not something you can promise me.” No one can when they don’t know who they’re supposed to be keeping me safe from. Even if they did, they might not be able to.

“Maybe not, but my word is pretty damn close. I brought you back here, so there’s no way I’m going to let danger get to you while I’m still breathing.”

It sounds like a vow, and I believe him, but I stand by my belief that nothing can be certain, especially in uncertainty.

“I believe you’ll try.”

“That’s all I need right now. For you to believe I’ll try.”

I breathe in the cool air to steady my mind when that dizzy feeling hits me again. As this is the kind of conversation that will keep going around in circles, I decide it’s best to change the subject. If we continue, he’ll only keep assuring me, and I’ll keep doubting.

“What happens next?”

“We prepare for the wedding. I’ve managed to get everything ready for next Saturday.”

My blood freezes. Next Saturday is only nine days away.

“Really?NextSaturday?” My words come out in a rush. “That’s soon. Why is it so soon?”

“It’s better that way.”

“Why is it better?”

“It just is.” The finality in his tone tells me not to press him any further. There’s no point anyway. It’s not like it can change anything. “The wedding will be next Saturday. In the meantime, you will see a psychiatrist who will take care of you. Your first appointment is next week.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see a psychiatrist yet.” I don’t disagree that I need to see one, but I’m not ready yet. The last time I saw one, I was left with this dark feeling in my soul. The doctor said it was probably because I saw death. The only death I can think of that would make me feel that way must be my parents’.

I don’t know if I could handle the memory of that just yet, or ever. If I wasn’t ready two and a half years ago, I can’t say when I’ll be.

“Youneedto see one.”

“Must you have so much control over my life?”

“This is what we’re doing.” His voice holds the authority and command of the mafia boss he is.

“What if I don’t want to do it?”

“Then I will make you do it, sweetheart.” He dips closer and picks up a lock of my hair, making me flinch when I think he might kiss me again. “Our contract binds you in more ways than one to me. If I say you’re going to see the psychiatrist, then that’s what you’ll be doing.”

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