Page 93 of Lust

“I guess I need to forgive you.” Her voice is quieter than before. “God has already forgiven you. I should too.”

I lean forward, setting my elbows on the table. “I don’t think he expects it of you. I wronged you, Sofia. I hurt your whole family. You have a right to be angry. Ultimately, forgiving me would be for your heart alone. To free you of the burden of being angry.”

“I guess that’s true.” She smiles sadly to herself. “To be honest, my heart isn’t free. It’s full of…sin. Maybe it’s good this happened. I deserved it.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

Her grimace is so faint and quick, I would have missed it if my gaze weren’t fixed on her face. “I’ve done something bad. Something wrong. Worse than what you and Mariana did, because I violated God’s covenant of marriage.”

I open my mouth and close it, unable to find the words. I can guess where this conversation is going, but I don’t want to push her toward it.

“I can’t believe…” She shuts her eyes and takes a breath. “I can’t believe I did it. I still feel like… Like it was someone else.” Her eyes open suddenly and probe me with a hard stare. “Do you think it’s possible that I have a demon inside me?”

The earnestness in the question makes my heart clench, making me want to rage against the church she was raised in, the one that used to be mine. She truly believes garbage like this.

“No,” I say firmly.

She frowns. “It never crossed your mind that maybe you do? When you… When you were sleeping with my sister?”

“Never.”

It was more like fearing that I’d found heaven and would be cast away from it. Like Moses being forbidden from entering the promised land.

I squeeze her hand. “We all sin, Sofia. We don’t need any extra help from the devil to do it.”

She nods rapidly, and her chest heaves. A soft little cry follows, and I sit while she weeps soundlessly. A short while later, she wipes under her eyes with her fingers and lets out a brittle laugh. “Everyone is probably staring at me, huh?”

“No,” I say without looking around. “No one even noticed.”

She takes a shaky breath through her mouth. “What you said…about being set free. Would you mind… I probably sound unhinged asking this after all that’s happened between us, but would you mind praying for me?”

A strange lightness lifts at my limbs. “Not at all.”

I take a deep breath before bowing my head. “Dear Lord, I ask that you help Sofia find peace in her heart. Let her know how much you love her. How you can forgive her for anything that she’s done. Allow her heart to be set free.”

“Yes, Lord,” Sofia whispers.

“And remind us, Lord, that we can always turn to you in our darkest hours. That your love is unconditional, your mercy boundless.”

“Amen,” Sofia whispers, her face serene, the tension eased from her features. “I have a favor to ask. Can we still… I’ve been dreading Livvy’s wedding so much—because of Finn—and now after what I’ve done…” She shuts her eyes, shaking her head. “I have to go. The Gallos are like family. My parents would never let me miss it, but I don’t want to do it alone. Would you mind if we still went together as friends?”

I haven’t even let myself think about how I’m officiating Livvy’s wedding in a few days, and how I’ll be forced to be around all the people I’ve lost.

I’ll be forced to seeher, possibly for the last time.

I force a smile. “I’m honored that you still want to go with me, but I don’t think your dad would allow it.”

She rolls her eyes dramatically, looking so like my sweet Mariana that my chest aches. “My dad needs to mind his own business. It’s partly his fault I feel like such a failure for being single at twenty-nine. In some ways… I think I had a harder time getting over Finn because he was so devastated by it all. He felt so sorry for me.”

I nod, not wanting to speak ill of Hector after all that I’ve done.

Her eyes grow determined. “Will you help me take charge of my own life by doing this for me?”

I smile. “I will.”

Her cheeks darken. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

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