Page 27 of Lust

This is what I need.

“Are you sure you want to do this just the two of us?” Brandon asks. “You don’t want Livvy here?”

I shake my head. “This is something I need to do alone.”

“But I’m with you.”

There’s something in his tone… Something warm and dark. I don’t have time to interpret it, because he huffs out a laugh. “Alright, let’s do it before we chicken out.”

My heart races as he sets his hand on my back and leads me into the water. Coldness washes across my feet, and a shiver runs up my spine. We wade out until the water is just below our hips. The waves roll over us, occasionally throwing me off balance.

Brandon’s expression grows grave. “What does this mean for you?”

I know exactly what he’s asking, and a stillness descends over me. “It means that I’m accepting who I am. Even if I’m not ready to tell my family, I know what I’m about, and I’m not afraid of it.”

He stares at me with an intensity I’ve never seen before. Those inky-dark eyes bore into mine. His lips quirk slightly, as if he’s impressed with me, and my heart grows light.

I think he might be proud of me.

He sets his hands on my shoulders, and I’m suddenly engulfed with his big frame. Those huge arms of his and that muscled chest. Even with the heavy aroma of seawater, tendrils of his musky scent reach my nose.

God, he smells so fucking good.

This is so much more intimate than I thought it would be. If I weren’t so overwhelmed with what I’m about to do, I’d probably be turned on.

“I’m not quite sure what to say as I baptize you.” Brandon’s smile grows sheepish. “Usually, I do it in the name of Jesus Christ.”

I smile. “Improvise.”

His eyes crinkle at the corners before he shuts them, and his expression grows somber. “As you enter the waters, Mariana, may your…self-acceptance surround you. Let this moment be a testament of your journey to becoming an atheist, and your commitment to loving yourself for who you are.”

He lifts me by my shoulders as if I’m as light as a doll. The shock of cold makes me gasp when he dips me back into the water, completely submerging me. For a moment, everything is dark and quiet, and my body is weightless. When he pulls me back up, the cool air fills my lungs.

The moment is over as quickly as it began, but my heart is as light as a helium balloon.

Tears rise to my eyes even as a giggle escapes my chest. “I feel different. I really do.”

His dark eyes are nearly black as he stares back at me. “I’m glad.”

We fix our eyes on each other in an electric silence. It’s only when his gaze drops to my mouth that I realize his big hands are still gripping my shoulders.

Holy shit, is he going to kiss me?

I swallow and lick my lips, and his gaze grows hooded. He lifts his hand to my face and grips my chin. His thumb brushes my bottom lip, and my stomach turns into molten lead.

As if recalling himself, his eyes grow wide, and he nearly shoves me away. “I have towels in my trunk,” he says.

“Okay,” I say.

But he’s already nearly to the beach, like he can’t get away from me fast enough.

* * *

His knuckles are almost white as they clench the steering wheel. He hasn’t looked at me for the entire drive.

I wish I knew what he’s thinking. Is he angry with me?

No. He’s too reasonable a person. He knows that touch was all him.

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