Page 91 of Lust

Hector.

I called him the day after Sofia walked in on me and Mariana, almost certain that she had told him everything by then. His lack of answer or callback only confirmed it. I’ve texted him several times over the last three days without receiving even an acknowledgement.

Looks like we’re about to have our reckoning.

I let out a long breath as I make my way to the porch. I know he hears my footsteps, but he stays where he is, as if enjoying the view of the ocean.

He probably wants to throw me over the cliff.

“I know you want to hit me,” I say when I get close. “So go ahead.”

Hector whips around, his jaw clenching. For a moment, it seems like he might actually do it. But then he releases a breath and shakes his head. “You must think all men of God sin as carelessly as you.”

The rebuke is like needles pricking all over my skin, more insidiously painful than a punch would be. I wasn’t careless. I cared a great deal about how he would feel if he found out about me and Mariana.

And I hurt him anyway.

Hector’s nostrils flare. “Is your idea of ministry sleeping with my daughter in your office?”

I shut my eyes. “You know it isn’t. What I did was despicable.”

Hector’s face softens for a moment and then hardens again. “She’s my little girl, Brandon. You slept with my little girl.”

The anguish in his voice fills my stomach with cold sickness even as irritation heats my skin. I hate that I hurt him so deeply, but for fuck’s sake, she’s not a little girl. It’s only now that I hear my own words echoed back to me that their hollowness rings true.

“I know,” I say softly. I can’t give him any hint of my thoughts. He’d take it as me making an excuse for my reprehensible behavior.

“Why did you do it?” he bites out. “Was it because Sofia wouldn’t sleep with you? You probably wish she was faltering in her faith like my Mari, so you could have gotten what you really wanted.”

My eyes widen. Somehow in the mire of everything, I’d forgotten that Hector is still unaware of mine and Sofia’s agreement. “No,” I say quickly. “I never felt that way for Sofia. I never should have courted her to begin with.”

He huffs, shaking his head. “I never would have pushed you to do it if I knew this is who you really are.”

I wince. His words are like a stab in my chest. What can I say in reply? That I was weak? That I was lonely? The truth is so much more disgusting.

Fucking your daughter was more exquisite than the moment you brought me to Christ.

“You’re no longer welcome in my home,” he says with a finality that leaves me breathless. “And if you ever come near my little girl again, I won’t hit you, but I will get you fired, Brandon. I’ll make it my mission. I know you’re a big man here in Santa Barbara, but I’ve built a lot of connections with important people over the years. Don’t try it.”

I expected this, but holy fuck. The man who in some ways replaced my father has been yanked from me forever because of my own selfishness.

Hector is standing right here, and yet he’s gone from my life. The family I came to love is no longer mine.

The woman I love is gone forever.

Fuck, I never thought I could feel a pain like this again. This is like the moment I watched my mom leave the world. Her breathing had been labored for hours—a torture to witness—and then it suddenly went shallow. Each breath tinier than the last. Even though I had been waiting for death, hoping her pain would end soon, I still wanted to scream and beg her to stay for just a little while longer.

But I couldn’t. I had to let her go.

ChapterTwenty-Nine

Mariana

“Apparently, my whole family had a meeting behind my back,” I tell Livvy over the phone. “It was a whole thing. Even my tias and tios were there. Ridiculous.”

“They should be more worried about where you are right now than who you’re sleeping with.”

Livvy’s sweet indignation makes me smile dreamily. I sink deeper into the plush chaise, my head a little hazy from the heat of the sun. Around me, the sounds of water splashing and children’s voices filter through the air. My heart is quiet for the first time in three days.

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