Page 83 of Lust

“Mari...” Livvy’s voice cuts through my inner turmoil. “What if you told your dad about everything? Maybe… What if you got him on your side? You’re so logical and convincing when you’re sure of something, and your dad’s a lawyer. He’s more reasonable than most fundy Christians. Way more reasonable than my dad, for example. I think you could make him understand.”

“No,” I say immediately.

Her eyes widen. “Why not?”

I fix my eyes on my fingers as I put a tiny flower in a bottle, willing away the small flutter in my heart at the thought of being with Brandon long-term. “I don’t want to get Brandon that way. I want him to be willing to take a risk for me.”

Her eyes grow so sad that I have to look away. As much as I adore her quiet empathy, I can’t bear seeing my own heartbreak reflected in her.

I don’t want to taint tomorrow. If it’s the last few hours we’ll have together, I want to enjoy them.

I’ll deal with the heartache when it’s well and truly over.

ChapterTwenty-Six

Brandon

“How did the weekend go?” Ethan asks.

I take a sip of my beer, guilt gripping my chest like a vise. I’ll tell him eventually. Tell him everything, but not now, damn it.

Not when I have one more blissful day with Mariana.

Tomorrow.

“Fine,” I say, the word surprisingly smooth on my lips. Deception has gotten much easier these past few weeks.

Ethan’s quiet for a long moment. Maybe my lie wasn’t as convincing as I thought. “Even though you were with Mariana for forty-eight hours?”

I take a sip of my beer and glance at the basketball game on the screen high above us. “It was a busy trip. I was speaking most of the time.”

“You weren’t speaking at night.”

I set down my beer and pin him with a stare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His wide eyes tell me I overreacted. Fuck.

“Nothing.” He scratches the back of his head. “I just mean you had time to hang out with her. At dinner and… I don’t know. I really wasn’t implying anything. I know you’d never do that.”

My jaw clenches, and I look back at the screen, pretending to watch the game. Fuck, what will he think when I tell him?

Maybe I don’t have to. When I became a Christian, I opened up to him about the careless way I used to treat my sexual partners. I wanted him to see how Christ changed me.

What would he think, especially given what our worthless father has done?

A loud giggle resounds behind us, drawing Ethan’s attention. His confused expression fades. His posture stiffens, and his eyes grow alert. I’m thankful for the distraction.

I don’t want to have to answer the question I know he’s going to ask.

Not when I still have tomorrow. Eight precious hours of work.

“That’s Lily,” Ethan says, his voice hard. His gaze is still fixed on wherever the laughter is coming from.

“Oh.” A smile quirks at my lips. At least I’m not the only one pining over a woman I can’t have.

“Yes,” he grits out, those watchdog eyes darting over the scene. “She’s wasted and surrounded by men. And I do mean men. They don’t look like college students.”

I follow Ethan’s line of sight to a group at the bar. Three guys stand around a woman with bright-red hair. She releases another high-pitched giggle.

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