Page 81 of Lust

And fuck you raw afterward.

“That sounds great,” she says, and the delight in her voice brings a smile to my face that quickly fades.

It will be over after tomorrow.

It has to be. I already hate myself. In my next conversation with Hector, I’ll update him on my “progress” with Mariana’s faith while blithely ignoring the fact that I just spent the weekend fucking her brains out at a pastor’s conference. It will feel that much worse if I keep doing it behind his back.

I’ve never lied to him before. After all the lies my dad told my mom growing up, I vowed to tell the truth like a witness on the stand after I became a Christian. Turns out my integrity is even more fragile than I thought it was.

Which is even more reason to end things permanently after tomorrow. How could I continue to lead my congregation as a willful sinner?

Fuck, this is misery. Misery and bliss at the same time. I’m itching for tomorrow to begin, and yet dark dread swarms within me like a plague of locusts.

ChapterTwenty-Five

Mariana

The bright lilt of my sister’s voice pulls me from the deep darkness of sleep.

I jerk up to an unfamiliar room that gradually morphs into my own. Oh, that’s right. Brandon and I came home, and based on that orange glow of sunlight on the floor, I must have slept until the afternoon.

Shaking off the remnants of sleep, I pad out of my room, the murmur of voices growing louder as I near the living room.

“Do you think heels would be too much?” Sofia asks, excitement bubbling in her voice.

I pause in the hallway, leaning against the wall and trying to stay out of sight. Sofia stands in a tight emerald dress that clings to her every curve. Danielle sits on the couch, her eyes narrowed in assessment. “I would do strappy sandals. Let’s make him think this meetup is an afterthought.”

Sofia laughs again, and a chill runs down my spine. What the fuck is going on? Please say “him” doesn’t refer to who I think it does.

“Oh man, that dress, Sofi.” Danielle shakes her head slowly. “You have no idea.”

Sofia grins. “Really?”

“Yes!”

“You don’t think it’s too sexy?”

“No, I mean, it’s definitely modest. No cleavage is showing. But with the curves you’ve got, girl, you can’t help but look kind of sexy.”

They both break out into giggles, and I want to roll my eyes.Modest. One of the dumbest words in the evangelical vernacular, as if revealing certain body parts is inherently sinful.

“I shouldn’t be saying this, but…” Danielle giggles. “No, I’m not going to say it.”

“What?” Sofia’s grin grows.

“Okay, so I’m not saying you should lie, but I think you should make it sound like you just came from a date. With Pastor Brandon. You know it would drive him crazy.”

Sofi nods. “Maybe I’ll stop by New Morning before we hang out so it won’t be a lie. I’ve been meaning to…”

Sofi’s voice fades into the raging buzz in my ears. Holy fuck. This really is what I feared.

She’s meeting up with Finn.

I march forward, and both of their heads turn to me. “What’s going on?” I ask firmly.

Sofi’s smile fades. “Nothing that concerns you.”

“Are you meeting up with Finn?”

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