Page 27 of Forgiveness

Her grimace is so dramatic, a chuckle erupts from my chest. Talking about our dark and twisted past with lightness loosens something deep inside me.

“You’re disgusting.”

“I am. You should pity me.”

“I do pity you.”

I sigh heavily. “The most disgusting thing I did was trick you into marrying me too soon. It’s one of my biggest regrets. I think we could have avoided all the pain if I had only been a little more patient.”

She stares down at her lap for a while, fiddling with a loose white thread on the seam of her dress. “You didn’t trick me.”

“I did.”

“I knew what I was doing.” Her voice is quiet.

“You didn’t have all the facts.”

“What do you mean?”

My gaze runs from her side-swept hair to the bodice of her dress. God, she’s so beautiful. I’ve felt this ache in my chest since the moment I laid eyes on her, like there’s always been this inkling there that she would someday destroy me.

“Remember that weekend in San Francisco,” I say, “when I told you I wouldn’t be able to see much of you for six months, that work was so busy I wouldn’t be able to arrange many visits?”

She nods slowly.

“You started crying, and twisted fucker that I was, I loved it. It meant you cared. It meant I had you where I wanted you. Right after that, I asked you to move in with me.”

“And I told you my parents wouldn’t like it.” Her voice has a faraway quality.

I reach out and grab her hand. “That’s how I got you to marry me. It was all a lie. Work wasn’t too busy for me to see you. Nothing could have kept me from you. I only said it because I wanted to lock you in. I hated that you were so far away with Jason in the same town. I thought it was only a matter of time before he’d come around and beg for you to take him back. I had to get you away from him.”

She’s quiet for a long moment, and I take the opportunity to stroke her hand with my thumb. It’s heaven to touch her.

“I knew you were lying.”

I blink once. “You did?”

“I did. I also knew it was a sign you were impatient that I wasn’t moving fast enough for you. I never understood why you wanted me so much. I always thought eventually you would get bored.” She looks up at me, her eyes wistful. “In a way, I was locking you in, too.”

I swallow. “You already had me locked in. The moment we met, I was yours. Forever.”

Her gaze drops to my mouth, and electricity pulses through my veins.

I trail my fingers from her hand to her thigh, and she lets out a soft little gasp. She seems as sensitive to my touch as I am to hers. Maybe she hasn’t done very much with…

No, I can’t think about him. Not when she’s looking at me with those Bambi eyes nearly shut. That soft pout of a mouth lifted toward me as if in supplication.

I press my lips against hers, and she hums. She lifts her hands to my head and pulls me against her mouth. Good God, she must be buzzed.

I hope she doesn’t regret this.

Her fingernails run along my scalp, sending tingles down my spine. I break the kiss and start trailing my mouth along her soft neck.

She arches her back, letting out a whimper as I slip my hands into her dress. Our bodies have always been as in tune as if they were made just for this. She pulls away suddenly, and we’re both panting and flushed.

Now is my chance. I’m at the edge of the precipice, ready to leap off, even if it’s to my death.

“I want a date. Not an obligated time that you have to spend with me. A real date. I want you to spend it with me because you want to.”

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