Page 85 of Scoreless Nights

I needed to do something. Take a chance. Even if my dad never spoke to me again, even if Lily laughed in my face, I needed to tell her just how deep this all went for me. Explain why it all hurt so much, and then beg her to come home with me.

Before overthinking it, I called Rhys and asked him for a favor. He laughed at me because he hadn’t even made it home from my house yet, but it felt like it had been hours since he left. Regardless, he agreed to help me, and I started packing a bag before I talked myself out of what I was going to do.

Six hours later, I was on the charter flight that Rhys always had on standby. He made sure the pilot knew where to pick me up, and where I needed to go, so that all I had to do was board and thank him for the ride. Then I called a ride share and gave him the address of the house I hadn’t been back to in years. The home I hated going to as a kid, and avoided as an adult, because she was always there.

Only now I was hoping she was there, and that I was strong enough to actually speak to her under that roof. But as soon as the door opened, everything I thought would happen, everything I thought I would say, didn’t happen. I was frozen, all those emotions that I had spent that last few weeks trying to tame came bubbling back up, and I lost what little control I had.

ChapterForty-One

Lily

Ihad spent years practicing how to hide my tears from my mom. Only when completely necessary and unavoidable did I let her see them fall so freely.

Since returning home, tears weren’t necessary. I was too numb to cry, so she had no idea how much I was missing Cruz. I didn’t blame him for leaving, we said all along that it wasn’t forever, but that didn’t make me miss him any less.

After hearing from Deon what happened, Angel reached out to me, but other than answering a few texts telling her I was fine, I didn't want to talk to her yet. Jackie didn’t even bother. She had clearly learned the truth, that I knew Cruz, and she was probably angry.

The first few days since I got home, I just rested and got back on my medical routines. My mom and I fought about me moving to Miami, but ultimately, I knew I was going to go whether she thought I should, or not. She may not have liked what happened between Cruz and me, but he showed me how to live, even if it was just for a short time.

It was early Saturday morning when I started pulling things downstairs with me. I had enough money saved to get a hotel for a few weeks until I could find a place to live, but I needed to go ahead and ship some things.

“What are you doing?” My mom asked, coming out of the kitchen with a rag in her hand.

“Going to ship these before noon,” I explained, situating the boxes near the front door.

“I thought your new boss gave you extra time?” She was panicking, her voice raised up a notch, and Ivan came running in from the den.

“He did,” I said calmly. “He also said I could ship some boxes directly to the museum and pick them up once I got my car back.”

“You can’t really be thinking of leaving again, can you?”

“Mom,” I pulled her into a hug. “I know you will worry about me for the rest of your life, but I’m alive. I’m okay. I need to start living.”

Ivan took my mom from my arms and wrapped his around her, giving me a small wink. “What about Cruz?” She cried against his chest.

“What about him?” We had managed to avoid Cruz’s name for a while, but I guess reminding me of what I left in Miami was her last ditch effort to keep me from leaving. “Miami is a big city. I doubt I’ll even see him.”

“His face is all over the billboards. You can’t possibl—”

“Mom,” I cut her off. “Cruz and I are okay. We knew what we were doing. Stop avoiding the subject and let's talk about it.”

Ivan’s eyes widened, and I could tell he didn’t want to hear a word about the fact that his son was on top of me in the bed. He even gave his head a small shake and pleaded with his eyes.

“You didn’t answer your phone,” my mom started. “We were headed down to celebrate and surprise you. Cruz had a big game, and we thought we could spend that night together, and then drive back up with you. But when we called, you didn’t answer. So we drove all night and when you didn’t answer the door either, Ivan used his spare key. God I wish I could undo that entire day.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that, but Mom, I’m an adult. Cruz isn’t a kid. We are not related. There’s nothing wrong with two people, living in close proximity, caving and doing what we did.”

Ivan looked uncomfortable, but he nodded, trying to agree with me before my mom shot him a look that made him freeze. I would have laughed if I wasn’t panicking inside at the fact that we were talking about my sex life with my step brother, and it wasn’t even seven in the morning. It was too much to process without anxiety.

Mom huffed a little and walked into the living room, where I followed her and sat down next to her. I didn't know what else to say to her. I didn't feel like I needed to say much at all.

And before I could even think of something comforting to say to her, the doorbell rang. Ivan was still near the front door, and I heard him open it before gasping.

“What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” I heard Cruz’s voice. “That is what you always said, right? This house was my house.”

Ivan must have let him in before I heard footsteps coming toward the living room. My mom was sitting up with her back straight, looking like she was ready for war, and stood up once she saw Cruz.

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