Page 82 of Scoreless Nights

She was overbearing and overprotective, but I understood why, and let her help me lead a cautious life. When I headed to college, it nearly killed her with fear. On more than one occasion, I was forced to withdraw from classes for stays in the hospital so that I could regroup and reset. It was why it took me so long to graduate.

Telling her I had job interviews in Miami was hard on her as well, but she knew I needed to live my life. Even the doctors told her I needed to spread my wings. It would be good for me.

From the time I was diagnosed, the only thing I ever asked for was that no one knew about what I was going through. Not even my new step brother. Ivan, of course, had to know, but he was good to me, and agreed from day one that Cruz never had to know.

When Ivan insisted I stay with Cruz, I knew it was because he thought there would be someone nearby that he could trust if it came down to it. It made my mom more at ease and she trusted that even without him knowing, I would be in good hands when it came to Cruz. But she couldn’t help but call all the time, ask if I was drinking my water, or worry when I was out of breath.

Just like I had with Cruz and my friends, I started lying to her for the first time in my life. The freedom I found with Cruz was addicting. He still had no idea how delicate I was and he didn’t treat me like I was breakable.

He never had.

Now I was looking into his worried eyes and scared I would lose him once he knew the truth.

“You’re supposed to be playing a big game,” I whispered.

“I’m only worried about you.”

“I'll be fine,” I smiled. “I do this all the time. It's like getting a little vacation.”

“Stop.” His voice was stern but not loud. He wasn’t interested in my jokes, or how I was trying to make light of the situation.

I glanced up and saw my mom and Ivan watching us, confusion on their faces. To their credit, they were not interfering or angry, just concerned about whatever was going on.

“I need to talk to him alone,” I nodded toward Cruz while keeping my eyes on my mom.

She shook her head at first, not willing to leave, but then instantly changed her mind and nodded. She and Ivan left the room, closing the door behind them, and I took a deep breath.

“Cruz,” I whispered, taking my hand to his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop,” he said again, only with less conviction, and more sorrow.

“I never wanted you to know,” I confessed. “I didn’t want you treating me like a…I don’t know.”

“So you’d rather me think you're just an overprotected princess on a pedestal that turned my dad into Danny Tanner the second he married your mom?”

“Well, yeah… kinda.”

His eyes lifted, looking into mine, and I could see unshed tears cover the anger. It was finally time to tell him the truth, and explain to him all the things that would probably make more sense now that he knew.

My mom was overprotective, but she had her reasons. My one and only boyfriend bailed when I told him the truth, too afraid he would be the reason I died if we dared to have sex. The college professor that got me the job interviews was the only person in college that knew, and that was only because he let me do a makeup exam after explaining why I missed. He ended up taking me under his wing, and helped me finish college.

But he told ICA about my heart and they offered me the job out of pity. It hurt, made me angry, and made me cry. The director told me straight up that I wasn’t qualified, but he wasn’t sure turning down a sick girl would be a good look.

No thanks. I couldn’t take that position.

As I explained everything to Cruz, he laid his head down on my hand and listened. Every few minutes he would grunt at something I said, but he remained quiet and let me talk.

“A lifetime of knowing me, but never knowing me,” I cried as I finished my story. “A week of not knowing me, but knowing me better than anyone else ever has. I needed what we had, Cruz. I know you’re angry, but if you had treated me differently, then I don’t regret lying.”

“I would have been more careful.” His voice was strained, and I could tell he was holding back emotions.

“You would have treated me like a little sister, and I never wanted that from you.”

He turned his head to where he was facing me again, and lifted it from my hands. “I wouldn’t have wasted years trying to avoid you.”

“Yes you would,” I laughed humorlessly. “Everyone avoids me when they find out I live with this disease.”

“What happens now?” He asked. “Are you going to be okay?”

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