Page 79 of Scoreless Nights

“Have you lost your mind?” my mom screamed.

“Let’s go out here,” Ivan guided her, trying to give us a minute.

Mom let him take her to the living room, but not before he gave Cruz a glare that told him he was dead. It was that look that finally broke me, and tears ran down my face. Cruz turned me to face him and started trying to calm me down, but I could barely hear him.

“It's okay, Lil. They’ll be okay.”

“Your dad looked so angry.”

“He’ll get over it. It’ll be okay.”

“No,” I cried again. “How will it be okay?”

“Because we’re adults. We’re not, and never have been, who they wanted us to be. Once they realize that, it’ll be okay.”

I hurried out of the bed and threw Cruz’s jersey on along with some leggings I had tossed on his floor a few nights ago. Cruz watched me start pacing, but stayed in the bed, a sheet covering him from the waist down, and his hands running through his hair every few seconds.

“Don’t let them do this to you.” His voice was demanding and grave, so low I stopped in my tracks and looked at him. “They have hovered over you for your entire life. They are never going to stop until you stand up to them, and tell them what you want.”

“What I want?” I yelled, knowing they could probably hear me through the door. Lowering my voice, I got closer to him and leaned down into his face. “You have no idea what I want. You have no idea how it has been for me with my mom since the day my dad died. I barely remember him, but I remember her. It nearly broke her, and I vowed I would never do to her what he did. I would never hurt her.”

Cruz stood up and got close to me, grabbing my shoulders to keep me still. “This won’t break her, but even if it did, you have the right to live your life.”

I was shaking my head, too scared to tell him what he needed to hear. My heart was racing, I felt sick to my stomach, and I knew if I didn’t get out of there, he was going to witness my breaking moment. The one that had been coming since the moment he kissed me.

“I have to get out of here.”

“Come to my game,” I pleaded. “I’ll leave yours, Dad’s, and Gloria’s name on some tickets along with my mom. It's a big one, and I want you all there. We can all talk when we come home.”

I turned around without answering him and left his room. My mom jumped up from the couch, undoubtedly getting ready to scold me, but I couldn’t let her. Not yet.

Heading straight to my room, I slammed the door and locked it, then threw myself onto my bed. A little while later, I heard yelling between Cruz and Ivan, but Cruz was mostly telling them that he would talk after his game. I envied how strong he was, and his willpower to not cave even though he knew his dad probably hated him. I wished I could be like that.

After I heard Cruz leave, I decided I would talk to my mom the way Cruz did his dad. I would be strong, tell them I was going to his game, and that we could talk afterward. But I didn’t make it as far as I wanted.

There were moments in the past week when I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle Cruz. His sexy words, the dominant way he spoke to me while we had sex, the way he took my innocence and tore me completely out of my shell. But somehow, I always came out okay, maybe even stronger.

Not anymore.

I was weak, had been getting weaker, and by the time I walked out of my room with my head held high and my spine stiff, it was too late. One look from my mom and I crumbled.

ChapterThirty-Eight

Cruz

Itexted Lil but had not heard back from her.

Not my dad or Gloria either.

“You ready?” Rhys clapped my back as I stared at my phone. “Gonna be a scoreless night for Los Angeles?”

He took the words I said before every game and tried to pump me up, but there was no use. My heart was in a million different pieces and the only hope I had was that maybe they were in the stands, smiling and happy, ready to cheer me on.

Rhys left me alone when I didn’t respond, but Sandy, our team’s head coach came barreling in looking like he wished he was playing the game himself.

“Martin?” he grumbled, making me stand up.

“Yes Coach?”