Page 25 of Scoreless Nights

“Eighteen,” he corrected. “Your jar was empty when I came for your graduation, so I refilled it one more time.”

He was taking bites of his own candy, pieces of chocolate falling from his mouth as he pulled it away. His eyes were looking at the waves, the setting sun, the boats. They were roaming everywhere but at me, and I couldn’t seem to look anywhere else but at him.

“You?” I finally asked in disbelief.

“Dad told me you ate them for dinner sometimes,” he shrugged, like it was no big deal.

But it was a big deal, because La Primada Baracoa candies were not available on the shelf at every grocery store. They had to be bought at special places, and none of them were near Brooksville. Miami, however, had them at certain places, and my first taste of one was when Cruz had left a stash after his visit. Mom told me I could eat them because he wouldn’t be around for another few months, and I fell in love.

I ripped the package open and sunk my teeth into the chocolate covered sugar. There was something about the chocolate used in a La Primada Baracoa, just like having a Cuban cup of coffee was so much richer. I had tried to find some online, but they were knock offs, and never quite the same as the ones IthoughtCruz’s dad kept in stock for me.

“Was it always you?” I hoped he knew what I meant, because those four words were hard enough to say.

“I brought as many as I could fit in my bag. After Dad told me you ate the ones I left, I figured you might want more.”

“I…” My throat was tight, but I made sure to clear it before I tried speaking again. “I thought Ivan restocked them for whenyoucame and I got to eat them after you left.”

He smiled, but still didn’t look at me. It took several more minutes of awkward silence before I scooted closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He leaned up to keep from falling back and returned my hug, wrapping his arms tightly around me, and pressing his nose into my neck.

“I wish I had known.”

“Why?”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have dreaded your visits as much.”

He pulled back and tucked the hair that was blowing around my face, behind my ear. “I dreaded my visits, so you had to dread them too.”

Even though I felt like I should have been insulted, I still laughed and pulled away from him. “Was I that awful?”

“Was I?”

ChapterFourteen

Cruz

After the sun had set, Lily and I made our way back home. I offered to stop and pick her something up for an actual dinner, but as I predicted, the candy had filled her up, since it was basically pure sugar. They were big, and she ate the whole thing. It may not have been the most nutritious dinner, but when I saw the two bars in my locker during the team meeting, the idea sparked.

My mom always had those candies at the checkout counter in her restaurant. When she ordered them, she made sure I had my own box, and I started saving them for my trips. There were a lot of reasons I didn’t want to be near Lily, but I found some satisfaction in giving her that one small thing.

Instead of trying to impress Lily with a fancy dinner, candy and the sunset felt more her style. Not to mention I didn’t need to impress her. She wasn’t some girl I was trying to score with.

Once I asked her if I was that bad growing up, we stayed silent the rest of the night, with her never giving me an answer. Nor did I give her one. It was weird, because there was unspoken resentment between us when we were teens, and I hoped that was part of our past, for good.

The silence between us the rest of the night wasn’t even awkward. It was somehow comfortable as the night air blew into the windows of my car and the music played.

When we got home, Lily started walking toward her room, straight to bed.

“Hey Lil?” She turned around, her eyes sunken in, and a forced smile on her face. “You never told me if you’re going to take the job.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I have two more interviews.”

I bit my lip and nodded, expecting her to turn back around and head to bed, but she hesitated, and I could hear her taking a few deep breaths before she spoke. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Siempre, mi amor.” Speaking English felt too vulnerable. I didn’t trust myself to speak words I knew she could understand.

She nodded, then headed into her room, shutting her door quietly, while I made my way into my own room and fell onto my bed with an exasperated sigh. It was happening all over again. The same thing I was scared would happen the moment my dad asked if she could stay with me.

I was feeling things for her the way I always had, but could never explain. It made me resent her, and that wasn’t something I wanted to do anymore.

---