Page 83 of Scoreless Nights

“I haven’t been drinking my water,” I smirked. “I forgot my meds the last few nights, and the alcohol I drank didn’t help. But once I get back on track, everything will be fine. It always is.”

Cruz stood up and started backing away from the bed. He looked so good in his uniform, his cleats clicking on the floor and his hair a mess. Shaking his head, he started looking anywhere but at me, and I knew at that moment that I lost him for good.

“It's okay,” I whispered. “We were never supposed to happen anyway. It was always going to end. Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel like you have to stay because I’m sick. I never wanted that from anyone.”

The door opened before he could respond, and our parents walked back in. My mom still had a straight face, but Ivan was trying to lighten the mood. “Everything okay?”

“Yes,” I said softly at the same time Cruz said, “No.”

Without another word, he made for the door and left, almost running to get away from the situation. My mom ran to me, worried his emotional outburst would affect me again, but it wouldn’t. I was used to dealing with everyone else’s emotions. It was my own that I had to keep in check and I was at peace knowing Cruz gave me the best few weeks of my life before we had to say goodbye again.

Mom didn’t want me talking about what they walked in on yet. She was too scared it would trigger my arrhythmia, but I was fine with that. They knew what they saw, and there was nothing more to say.

ChapterForty

Cruz

We lost the game against Los Angeles, missing the playoffs. I was sure that was my fault but it didn’t feel like it mattered. The next two games were meaningless so I took leave from the team for the rest of the season while I worked on everything I was feeling.

It had been two weeks since I’d run from Lily’s hospital room, and the season was over so I had nothing to do but wallow in my own misery. My dad texted constantly, my mom called, and stopped by my apartment with food, and my friends tried every means they could to get through to me, but I wanted to be alone. No, I wanted to be with Lily.

One of my dad’s texts said that Lily was doing well. She had been released from the hospital after three days, and they’d taken her home to Brooksville to regroup. I wondered if she was still taking the job at DCG, or if she would ever come get her things from my apartment. I hoped not.

Then I started to hope I could get over her already. That the time we spent together would fade, and I would be able to be myself again. Nights out, friends and women, soccer, living the life I had made for myself, and loved.

It was the Friday night before Lily was supposed to be back in town to start her job, and I was alone on the balcony. I heard a knock on my door, but didn’t have the strength to get up and open it. Most likely it was my mom, and she was there to scold me again for everything that was going on.

She used words I had never even heard of when she found out Lily and I got caught in bed together. Not because we were sleeping together, but her mom seeing my ass was apparently something that would scar her for life. But I was just as upset with my mom as I was everyone else because she knew about Lily all along. Not only did she know, she had helped my dad keep it from me. They even planned my trips up there around Lily’s hospital stays.

“What the fuck?” I heard from the doorway of my balcony, startling me a little. I looked up to see Rhys looking mad as fuck.

“How did you get in here?” I snapped.

“The door was unlocked.”

“Doesn’t give you the right to walk in here uninvited.”

“Don’t be mad at me for being worried about you.”

I rolled my eyes and looked back out to the moon that was shining bright over the ocean. Rhys took a seat next to me on what felt like Lily’s chair, and kicked his feet up.

“How deep does this run?” He asked me gently.

“Deep.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because every emotion I have is deep. Anger, fear, need, lo…” I trailed off, not wanting to test that word on my lips. It was in my head, but once I said it out loud, it would be more real.

“I don’t understand why this isn’t easier.”

Rhys had been updated on the fucked up situation I was in with Lily. He wasn’t even shocked, nor was anyone else on my team. They all knew the moment she showed up in my life that I was a different person.

“We don’t all fall in love as easily as you do,” I snapped.

“Ouch,” he laughed, giving me a pass on that dick move. “But you admit you are in love with her.”

Fuck.

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