Page 49 of Play Maker

I froze, unable to make a decision. Could I go back? I didn’t want to lose the connection I had with Adam, but I didn’t see a way forward now that we’d crossed the line. Friends with benefits sounded nice on the surface, but what happened when the fall semester started and I became a distraction he no longer wanted? Or when Eva came home and discovered I’d picked up where she’d left off.

Icy cold fear slid through my veins. The thought of losing Adam already made my chest hurt, how much worse would it be if I let myself get fully involved? My reasons for refusing to sleep with him in the beginning were still valid. It was my resolve that needed help.

Adam was my weakness, and I couldn’t resist him forever. He’d snuck under my defenses, making me want to take a chance. I wasn’t ready. My heart pounded in my ears, and distantly, I knew I was reacting out of panic. It didn’t matter.

Something had to change. I couldn’t move forward with Adam without getting my emotions involved, they were already involved. Handling him one on one wasn’t working because I didn’t want to go back, so I grasped onto the one excuse I had to create some distance while moving forward. Our dating lessons. I needed to find someone else to distract me.

Still panting, I lifted my head to meet his eyes. “I think we should go out tonight so I can practice. On someone else.”

He frowned, and an expression I couldn’t categorize flashed across his face. “You want to go out and try to pick up a guy tonight?”

I nodded, even though everything in me screamed it was a mistake. “Yes.”

His expression lingered longer this time, and I was able to identify it—hurt. “If that’s what you want.”

I shoved my foot farther into my mouth trying to make it better, unable to stop myself. “I’m sure I could find a ride home if you don’t want to wait around. I could use a ride there though.”

His shoulders tensed slightly. “I’ll bring you thereandhome, Blue.”

My chest tightened with the absolute certainty I was screwing up even as I tried to fix it. “I’m sorry if I’m giving you mixed signals. I don’t know what I’m doing. I understand if you regret getting involved, but I’m glad you’re helping me, Adam.”

He shook his head slightly as his lips pressed together into a tight smile. Nothing like the one he usually wore around me. “Sunshine, I don’t regret one second of time I’ve spent with you. When you’re ready to go, you know where to find me.”

In a reversal of last night, Adam turned on his heel and left me in the kitchen without looking back. I slumped against the counter with my pulse still racing from his kiss. Suddenly, distance was the last thing I wanted.

18

Itook a small sip of my beer and settled in at the bar for a long night. After the life-altering kiss in the kitchen this morning—followed by the quickest kick to my balls I’d ever experienced—I didn’t see Blue again until she knocked on my door twenty minutes ago.

She’d put all our lessons to good use, pairing a funky, short summer dress with dark teal cowboy boots and adding a casual wave to her hair. The look said confident and fun, and best of all, it felt like authentic Blue. I’d wanted to yank her into my room and convince her she didn’t need the lessons.

Then her eyes passed over my shoulder, and I remembered the speed with which she’d pivoted from me to literally any other guy. Friends, it was. I pasted on a patented Mac smile and ushered her to the car.

I didn’t offer advice or encouragement on the way over—I didn’t have it in me—but just before we went through the door, I slipped up and told her she looked beautiful. She’d given me a sad smile, and I’d made a beeline for the bar.

Johnny’s wasn’t as busy in the summer, and I was glad I didn’t have to elbow anyone out of the way to keep Blue in my line of sight. She’d barely ordered a drink before a frat bro chatted her up. He nodded toward a table of bro clones, none of whom bothered to hide their shit-eating grins, and Blue shook her head. Good girl. She could do much better than that clown, though not-Archer might approve of his credentials.

Unfortunately, the idiot took her refusal as a challenge. He kept talking, and when she ignored him, he snatched up her beer from the counter. Raucous laughter came from the guys behind him as he backed toward his table, wiggling her drink like a cat toy. I prepped to intervene, but another guy at the bar beat me to the rescue.

He stepped between the asshole and Blue, then ordered her a new drink. I watched until the asshole shrugged and returned to his table with his stolen beer. When I focused on Blue again, she was smiling at the new guy. A real smile.

My fingers tightened on my glass, and I shoved down the bubbling jealousy. This was what she wanted. Practice. Alone. I took a swig and scanned the room blindly. My gaze ended up on a group of dancing girls who looked vaguely familiar, but they couldn’t hold my attention.

Movement from Blue’s direction had me swinging my head around. She’d tossed her head back with a laugh. A dark, possessive sensation exploded in my chest, and I suddenly had a better understanding of Noah’s cranky ass.

He’d watched Chloe hook up with one person after another while he stood on the sidelines. I didn’t want to watch Blue flirt with this guy, laugh with him like she did with me, give him the crooked smile I’d pulled out of her. I wanted to jump between them, stake a claim, beg for the chance to prove I could be the one for her.

But was I? Blue didn’t seem to think so, or she wouldn’t be smiling and laughing with someone else. The snub felt a little too familiar.

I forced myself to take a mental step back. We were here for Blue. My feelings didn’t factor into this. Hers did. Even if it pained me, I wanted her to come out of this confident in her ability to make connections with people. As long as she came home with me.

They talked for a few minutes, and her smile looked genuine. I took stock of the interloper. He seemed decent enough at first glance. Jeans and a button down said he wasn’t looking for a quickie, but I took away a couple of points for the tassels on his loafers.

The waitress led them to a booth closer to me, and Tassels gestured for Blue to sit on the inside. I smiled grimly into my beer. He’d hit the first test already. Blue always had to be on the outside in a booth. She said it was a safety issue, but I overheard her tell Eva once that having another person’s body block her ability to leave made her feel trapped.

“I’d prefer to be on the outside.”

Instead of switching places, he failed the test, laughing off her request. “Ladies first.”

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