Page 32 of Play Maker

For the second time in twenty minutes, I dropped my phone to the floor and tried to relax. I wanted to tell Blue about the competition—see what she thought of the opportunity, if it was worth the sacrifice—but first I’d need to tell her about my music. Honestly, I just wanted to talk to her. Her mind was fascinating, and she helped me sort through all the packaging to get at the heart of things.

Going back into my bedroom was a no-go. My willpower only went so far, and I wouldn’t come back out a second time. After her little stunt at the bar, I was certain I wasn’t alone in wanting to blur the lines of our friendship.

In the back of my mind, I wondered what would have happened if I’d spent time with Blue before getting involved with Eva. Would I have been in the same frustrating, friends-without-benefits situation, or would her adamant refusal have encouraged me to pursue her? I wasn’t pursuing her now…was I?

Shit. Was I? Staring at the slightly darker parts of the popcorn ceiling didn’t offer much in the way of answers.

A snippet of the song I’d been working on with Alex floated across my mind—one I’d attempted to write lyrics for. The music wasn’t quite right yet for the chorus, and we were missing the drama. A big wow factor moment that would reach down and tug on someone’s soul.

I let the notes twist and turn in the back of my thoughts, and though I knew better, I pictured Blue lying in my bed. Only in this version, she was naked and panting for me.

Talk about wow factor. I groaned as Big Mac perked right up.

He wouldn’t be denied this time. I unbuttoned my shorts, giving him some space. None of my roommates would be home until morning, and Blue was passed the fuck out in my room. True, she’d recovered pretty fast after the night with the wine, but she hadn’t been nearly as gone as tonight.

The imaginary version of Blue moaned my name—my real name—and I rubbed my cock through my boxer briefs. Fuck, I was in deep. Dream Blue spread her pretty thighs for me and dropped a hand between them.

She didn’t close her eyes though. Those blue-green depths stared up at me in challenge, daring me to match her rhythm.

No problem. I hooked the waistband of my undies and let Big Mac free. Dream Blue’s lips curved into a satisfied smile as I gripped him tight. I wanted her hands on me, her mouth, her anything as long as she kept grinning like that.

The illicit chance of being caught by her made everything hotter. In my mind, I joined her on the bed, taking her mouth like I’d almost done earlier. Taking her hand and adding my own fingers to hers. Taking her up, up, up as her nails dug into my shoulders.

Her tits bounced slightly with the roll of her hips, and I wrapped my lips around the rosy tip. Sucked until she begged and pulled my hair. Uttered words into her ear as she tightened around me.

Yes, baby.

Fuck your hand and pretend it’s me.

Come for me, Sunshine.

Flames licked at the base of my spine and my balls tightened. I grabbed my shirt from the floor just in time.

Fuck. I hadn’t come that hard in months. Years. Maybe ever.

I’d thought my fantasies before were harmless, but having her in my room, in my bed, brought reality into stark contrast. Blue deserved a friend who wasn’t looking for a chance to see her naked. Bad enough her future stepbrother was rolling on her. I collapsed back against the cushions with my shirt balled in my fist.

Frustration mixed with the lethargy spreading through my muscles. I had other female friends. Plenty of women would be willing to take care of Big Mac without getting emotionally involved. All I had to do was ask.

I hadn’t, but maybe I should. If I had another outlet, maybe Blue wouldn’t hold the same forbidden attraction.

Deep down, I knew the logic was bullshit. None of the ball bunnies held my attention the way she did. None of the cheerleaders made me want to spend all my time with them. No one else could take Blue’s spot in my mind, not even Eva.

I dropped the shirt next to my phone and pulled the stupid throw blanket over my chest. None of this chaos was necessary. I’d convince Blue to move in here—for her own good—spend the summer keeping my hands off her, and when Eva came back in the fall, I’d be back to my old self who didn’t question everything.

12

Iwoke suddenly and without mercy. My body knew I wasn’t at home before my head, which was decidedly fuzzy. Sunlight streamed through a big window, falling across the messy bed, and I remembered with sudden clarity cuddling with Adam last night until I’d fallen asleep.

Previous data suggested I didn’t like cuddling—in general, I didn’t like people touching me—but curling up next to Adam had felt so good. Had I ever done anything simply because it felt good?

I rubbed my eyes and finally took stock of my surroundings. The giant bed I was lying in took up most of the room with a dresser opposite holding the TV and a desk positioned near the window. A guitar sat in a stand within arm’s reach of the chair, and the rest of the room was surprisingly tidy.

Adam didn’t seem like the cleaning type, but he clearly put in some effort. I eyed the second door, and hoped he had his own bathroom. When I slid my legs over the side of the bed, I had to sit with my head between my knees for a second. My stomach wasn’t pleased with me, probably because I’d skipped dinner in favor of those suntan drinks.

I focused on the swirling gray pattern in Adam’s comforter until the urge to puke passed. He’d probably forgive me, but I didn’t want to risk it. It already looked like I’d kicked him out of his own room.

My experience might be limited, but only half his bed was mussed. Unless I’d spent the night on top of him, he’d left after I fell asleep. Not a great sign after I’d made a pass at him. I probably shouldn’t have done that since I was the one who’d insisted on friends without benefits, but I had a hard time regretting the decision. The shots themselves I regretted. Deeply.

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