Page 60 of Their Virgins Secret

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Jessa stared at the door that separated her from Caleb. She’d thought about sleeping on the floor beside his crib, but decided that simply leaving the door open between their rooms would work. When they’d arrived at the James’ condo, she’d spent over two hours holding him, cradling his little body, but he’d been sleeping fitfully, waking with an occasional cry. She’d known that if she didn’t let him be, he would be one cranky boy in the morning. And in the morning she had to decide what to do with her life.

She sat up in bed, knowing that sleep wasn’t coming soon. She’d made it through the police interview and the paramedics examining her. She’d held herself together through it all, but now that the distractions were gone and she was all alone, the tears fell.

Why couldn’t she just take what Burke and Cole were offering and so willing to give her? Tonight, they had hovered over her, telling her again and again how much they loved her. And she kept pulling away, almost afraid to believe that it was true. Trembling at the thought they might leave her again—this time for good. Maybe she was exhausted and not being terribly rational. But…broken trust was hard to repair. She wanted to try, but being so utterly alone this past year as she’d tried to live without Burke and Cole had been torture. Some days—and nights—she’d thought that if she had to spend another minute without them, she’d go insane.

She frowned. She still loved them. That wasn’t ever going to change. Something in her was wired for them. So why couldn’t she cling to them now? Why was she holding herself back?

Fear.

Jessa rolled out of bed, her feet sinking into the luxurious carpet. She was wearing one of Hannah’s silk nightgowns, the material soft on her skin, but all she could think about was her men’s strong hands caressing her, their arms surrounding her.

What was she doing? What was she going to do?

She walked to the windows and opened the blinds. The soft lights of the Dallas skyline played across the room. Marco Delgado was dead. She could leave tomorrow, and the Lennox brothers couldn’t stop her if she really wanted to go. She could pack Caleb up and find a new home. She could go on with her life.

Jessa sniffled. It sounded a bit mean and petty to move Caleb away from their fathers. To punish them by leaving just because they’d left her. In fact, it sounded terrible. So what the hell was she to do?

Tired. She was so tired and she felt a little empty. They were in another room. Doors, a hallway, and distance lay between them because she hadn’t been brave enough to approach them last night, tell them how much she needed the sense of safety and love they gave her so freely. She’d been too afraid to try with them again.

“Come on. ” The low whisper came out of nowhere.

Jessa turned toward the door to the nursery with a start. Someone was in there. She frowned, her heart beating out a rapid rhythm as she padded across the floor and grabbed a heavy, decorative candlestick as silently as possible and drew it up over her head. Since she’d left the door open to be closer to Caleb in the night, she easily heard the masculine voice that whispered in the air.

“God, you’re a baby hog. I want to hold him. ”

She closed her eyes and had to grin a little. The sweet grumble of Burke’s voice pierced her heart. They were here. She’d turned away from them, but they had snuck into the nursery to be with their son. The miracle they’d created with her.

She peeked through the crack in the door.

There were two rockers in the nursery. Hannah had explained that this was the east wing bedroom, for times when one of her babies was sick. It must be nice to be wildly wealthy. Jessa would have to settle for a lovely home with only one nursery. It would have been enough if Burke and Cole hadn’t come back in her life. Now it seemed like…settling. They’d come back into her life and made her want more—a house with a bedroom big enough for the three of them, along with more love to fill it. No, she’d always wanted more, and now she knew they wanted to give it to her.

She had to make a choice.

Burke and Cole sat in the rockers. Cole had his shirt off and cradled Caleb against his chest. Her son, who never seemed to sleep when she held him, was like a limp noodle in his father’s strong arms.

“I can’t help it. Look at him. He’s so fucking beautiful. ” Cole smiled down at the baby.

Burke kicked at his shin. “Don’t cuss around the baby. Do you want his first word to be fuck?”

“Shit. ” Cole winced. “Sorry. I hadn’t thought of that. No. ”

“Then watch your language. We have to do things differently now. We have a son. ”

Cole rocked back and forth, cuddling Caleb. Burke leaned over, his fingers stroking Caleb’s hair. “We might have to move. If Jessa goes back to Virginia, we’ll follow her. She might not want us now, but I’m not giving up. And I can’t let him go. ”

Jessa felt tears prick her eyes. Cole’s voice, his strong, deep voice, had hitched when he’d said she didn’t want them.

Burke took a deep breath. “I thought if we found her in time and eliminated Delgado, that she’d want to be with us, would see…” He shook his head. “I’m not willing to give up, either. ”

“I love her. I need her. ”

“We both need and love her. ” Burke sat back, his head resting against the chair. “She’s the one, but we can’t force her to love us back. We can only be there. We can only prove that her hardheadedness can’t drive us away. We made some horrible mistakes, but we won’t make them again. ”

Cole sighed, his lips cracking into a sad smile. “I’m glad you feel that way. I was worried that all the bullshit with Hilary would turn you into me. ”

“No. There’s only room for one brooding butthead in our lives. ” He chuckled. “You took that role on long ago. I’m going to be the happy dad. And you’re right. He’s so fucking beautiful. He’s the best thing we ever did. Do you think he’ll love us? Or do you think he’ll be angry that we couldn’t love his mother separately? Do you think he’ll be ashamed?”

---