Mae.
Even Kathryn.
She cried for Erica. For Julia. For herself.
She cried for everyone. And when she stopped, she was raw and scraped hollow inside, but she cried even more.
Jonah found her like that. Her face was streaked with dried and fresh tears. Her blanket was a sopping mess. She had a Kleenex box beside her, half emptied because she used them all. He took one look at her, tucked his phone into his pocket, and he carried her to bed. She told him a little of what had transpired that day. He knew about Boone, but he hadn’t known about the settlement.
She lifted her head from his chest. “You didn’t know?”
He shook his head. His hand rubbed another tear from her eyelid. “I didn’t. I’m surprised, small town and everything. It must’ve happened before I came back.”
She rested her head to him again. It was time to talk to Julia. She didn’t care about the money, but finding out the reason, she hurt for her sister. Julia must’ve been there. She must’ve held Erica, maybe how Jonah was holding her, as Erica made her choice. Maybe not. It was probably Jake who held her, but did it even matter anymore?
For the first time since she left, Dani regretted leaving. She hadn’t been there for her family when she should’ve been.
She woke the next day with the same decision. It was time to face her ghosts, but she wanted more answers. A second trip to see her grandmother was in order.
The drive didn’t seem as long as her prior visit. Marge was at the front desk, and after one swift glance, she produced the same blank nametag and black marker with a smile. Dani filled it out.
Phyliss stood when she got to the second floor. She regarded her with reluctance “I don’t know if she’s up for a visit. Unfortunately.”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
“She’s pretty weak and down right now. She’s been bedridden for the last three days.”
“Is she sick?”
“She’s not physically sick. It’s part of her mental illness.”
“What does she have?”
Phyliss smiled. “You wouldn’t understand if I just gave you the clinical term, but I can talk in laymen’s terms since she gave us permission to talk with you. Your grandmother gets real sad at times and real happy at other times. You got her on a downward cycle last time, but now she’s fully at the bottom. It might take a while for her to come out of it.”
“I thought there were meds for this stuff.”
“There are.” Phyliss nodded. “But sometimes the meds aren’t enough.”
“What about therapy?”
“Your grandmother won’t do therapy. She says it’s hogwash. Truthfully, I just think your grandmother doesn’t want to talk about stuff that happened in her past.”
Dani accepted it, but she asked anyway, “Can I see her? Just for a little bit?”
“I wouldn’t want to see my grandmother as yours is,” Phyliss advised her. “But, if you’d really like, I could see if she wants to see you.”
Anything. She just wanted to see her again. “That’s fine with me.”
“Okay.”
Dani glanced around. The humming lady had been sitting in the corner when she got off the elevator, but once Phyliss left, she stood and shuffled her way over. Dani held still, stiff, as she poked her arm. She shook her head, hummed, and poked Dani again.
Dani didn’t say a word.
After a third poke, the lady turned and shuffled back to her sitting spot. She shook her head and went back to humming.
“What’s your name?” Dani asked.