Page 35 of Home Tears

“You’re not! That’s what I’m getting at.” Aunt Mae was right there, right in her face. She didn’t blink an eye. “You’re alive and you’ve survived hell, though you don’t speak about it. I know! I know the look, but you’re standing, and you’re alive. You survived, but you ain’t living.”

Erica wasn’t either.

Dani couldn’t breathe. Her chest was constricted.

Erica was dead. She hadn’t felt her sister leave, yet she’d felt the children die.

That was the point.

“You got to make right with your ghosts. Erica didn’t mean to fall in love with Jake, but she needed to.”

“How can you say this?”

Erica had Kathryn. Erica had everyone, but Mae was her aunt. She was supposed to be on her side.

“Because I know you better than anyone else.” Aunt Mae grabbed Dani’s shoulders. “And I know how strong you are, how courageous you are, how beautiful you are. You left holding your head high because you lost your boyfriend. You and Jake were together all your life. News alert: if you didn’t need your boyfriend for that long, he’s not the one for you.”

“I loved him!” The words ripped from her throat. “I loved him, and she took him.”

“You’re not fighting Julia, Dani. You’re fighting Erica. She’s alive, and she is a ghost to you right now. Her body’s in the ground, but she’s around. She will be until you’re finally at rest with her.”

Where had this come from? Where had any of this come from?

“You feel guilt,” Aunt Mae murmured, quieting. “You gotta push that aside and start living. It’s stopping you from living. I don’t know what you’re guilty about. If it’s Erica dying, your mother dying, I don’t know. Or that you didn’t fight for Jake. I don’t know, but I see those demons in your eyes. Me, finding you here, sitting alone and damn near chilled—that pisses me off. You should have a husband beside you, and you should be happy, not a numb robot.”

“What is this? An intervention on guilt?! Don’t come here and tell me what I’m messed up on, who I’m fighting. It wasn’t my fault that she up and died.” Her voice cracked and it took a moment for her to regain it. “Erica is supposed to be here, and she is supposed to be apologizing to me! I’m not in the wrong. It’s not me who should be apologizing to her!”

“She apologized, Dani. It took about two years, but she did. She came and talked to me. She changed because of you. Erica knew what she did, that she lost you.”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Dani started for the cabin.

She did what she did best.

She left.

She grabbed her keys and was down the road within a second.

Dust skirted underneath her tires, spitting the gravel behind her. She drove without thinking, and when she parked, she found herself on a cliff that overlooked Falls River. She closed her eyes, drawing in a breath. Another painful memory. Two trails led down to a pool of water below the cliff. There was a small cave that was underneath.

It was where she and Jake first made love.

Dani climbed from her car and moved to a trail. It looked the same, but brush had grown over it, nearly erasing the trail. It was years of remembrance that highlighted the trail as she made her way downward. It seemed a bit steeper, but flooded topsoil may have had a hand. As she came to the bottom, two buckets were placed near the bank with one containing different mussels and shells.

The cave hadn’t remained a secret

A large bubble popped the surface, and a dark shape quickly followed. Two heads broke the surface, complete in diving suits and snorkeling equipment.

“Hey!” A smile broke out as he peeled off his goggles, and his mouth dropped the snorkel mouthpiece. Still attached around his head, it fell to his neck and Dani found herself meeting Jonah’s dark eyes. “What are you doing here?”

His colleague peeled off another pair of goggles. It was the same Trenton Galloway who steered his boat to her dock. He waved before ducking back underneath the water. Jonah hoisted himself up and sat on the bank.

“What are you guys doing here?”

Jonah shifted through the bucket. “We found this cave a little while ago.”

“What’s with the—?” Dani gestured to his hand.

“It’s a freshwater mussel we found. This was supposed to be extinct, but Trent thinks we’ve found the next greatest discovery since the Red River ran north.”

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