Page 104 of Home Tears

“I knew Erica was dead because I saw her.”

She closed her eyes tight. She couldn’t believe she was saying this. She hadn’t told anyone, but it was there. Erica was there. Dani felt her. The feel of her never went away.

“What?”

“I was in a storm.” Her voice was so raw. “Before I came back, I almost died in a tsunami. There were moments I thought I was dead, and there were moments when I wished I had died.” Those same breaths that ended. They were never hers, just those around her. “But one night, I thought I was going and then Erica was there.”

Julia sucked in some air. Her hand lifted, but Dani didn’t look. She saw the movement from the corner of her eye.

“She told me it wasn’t my time. It had been hers, but I had to stay where I was.” It hurt to speak. It hurt to breathe. “I thought it was a hallucination.”

She heard Mae’s words again. “You missed your sister’s funeral…”

Dani said, “It wasn’t. It was real.”

“That’s how you found out?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

She didn’t know what to expect, but then Julia grabbed her hand. She whispered to her, “Then you were the last to see her. How’d she look?”

Dani looked down at their joined hands. Of all the reactions, that was the best one. She squeezed Julia’s hand and rasped out, “She looked happy. She was glowing.”

Julia snorted. “Figures. She probably looks even better up there.” A beat. “What a bitch.”

Dani barked out a laugh. Julia joined in a second later and after a moment, Dani sighed. “You were telling me that you hate me?”

Julia rolled her eyes. “Yes. Duh. Always.” She was trying not to grin.

Dani murmured, “I love you, too.”

Julia sighed too. “I really miss Erica.” She came to Dani, resting her forehead on Dani’s shoulder again.

Dani rested her forehead against the side of her sister’s head. “I miss her, too. I miss Mom.”

“Me, too.” Julia brushed at her face, her blanket swiping against Dani. “Okay, enough of our dysfunctional family bonding.” She pulled away, giving her sister one long look. There was no hatred. No loathing. Just sadness and a deep mourning that only Dani understood.

Julia sniffled. “I hate you.”

Dani murmured as her sister left, “No, you don’t.”

“You don’t hate her either.” Jake stood in a different doorway from behind her.

She didn’t ask if he heard it all. She could tell he did. “Are you happy with her?” She pulled her blanket tight around her again.

Jake considered the question for a moment. “Yes, I am. Do I still love you? Yes. I still love Erica, too. I’m not in love with either of you, but you know that. Julia needs me, and I need her in ways that I never needed Erica or you.”

He stared in the direction Julia had gone, then leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. “Your Aunt Kathryn. She’s going to be gone soon.”

She looked down. “I know.”

He straightened back up. “I don’t know if you meant it, but go and see her. Do it for Julia.”

“I’m going to.”

She’d go to say good-bye. This time, she could.

The room was dark except for the light flooding in from under the door. A small makeshift bed was left open for her. Jonah wasn’t there, but she curled underneath the blanket, and when she woke—he still wasn’t beside her.

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