Page 81 of The Jester and His Outlaw: Part 2

He means it, but I just can’t help how I’m feeling. Today isn’t a day I want to deal with my mother.

“It’s okay, Chandler. It was good while it lasted.” With that, my mother busts through the door, pushing Chandler out of the way.

“Charlotte May Miller, that is enough. I am your mother and you will show me some respect.”

“Respect? Like you’ve shown me in the past months? Oh, that’s right, you haven’t. So until you plan to do that, I don’t want you in here.” Chandler quietly closes the door, eyebrows raised and his eyes wide.

She stops mid-stride with her hands on her hips. Her chin quivers and her lips go flat. Tears collect in her eyes, but she blinks them back. The once over she gives me is slow, and she lingers over my legs hidden by the blanket that Riggs left with me.

“My baby girl…” she trails off. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” She flinches. Again, not the day today. I’m wallowing in self pity.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Answers.”

“Ugh, you are impossible, young lady.” My eyes flick to hers and I know my pain and disdain are clear because she crumples beneath my stare. Her expression morphs into one of compassion and motherly love. For a second I believe her. I crave what she is offering right now. I need it. Need my mom. My heart hurts. My brain hurts.

I don’t need a woman who I resent. I need the woman I love right now, so, so much.

She slaps her hand over her mouth and her eyes are so glassy with tears, there’s no way she can see what she’s doing. Anger fills me, not at her, but at me. Anger because I can’t hold it together, that I’m not strong, that I need her right now. I don’t want to need her. So much has happened and my parents haven’t been there to support me, to show me they’re on my side. To love me. I don’t want to need her right now, but my strength is failing.

“Mom…” My voice cracks and a loud sob escapes her hand, and she darts over to me but hesitates, unsure how to hug me. I reach my arms out to her like a needy child. She obliges and I sigh heavily. Riggs has been a great help lately, but he isn’t my mother.

“Please let me talk to you, precious. Please. Let me explain, don’t push me away,” she rushes her words. As much as I want to push her away, I also never want to leave because she’ll shoulder some of my pain. At least the mom I used to know would. This new version… I’m not so sure. However, letting her hold me is like coming home and I’m able to push some of my anger aside for the moment.

“Explain,” I say, unable to hide the coldness in my voice. I need fucking answers why they’ve let me down so colossally. Why I’ve spent so long on own my convinced they are losing their minds.

“Years ago, Ashton Myers approached Daddy and some of the other business owners in our neighborhood.”

“To merge companies…”

“Yes, to merge companies. Daddy entertained the idea, as did many. It was a great plan. We would basically own a super power and your father really wanted the green initiative to take off. The new venture wasn’t doing as well as he’d hoped, so it was the perfect plan. We had just adopted you two, so he was feeling all sorts of pressure so he could leave behind a legacy you guys would be proud of. Money for us wasn’t an issue, but he wanted his own money, his own company. It seemed like the perfect plan. When we all sat down to sign the papers and make it official, in the small tiny details of a contract we had already gone over with our lawyers, Ashton added a clause.”

“The clause to marry the children when we were of age. You signed it? Jesus, Mom. I knew your business was important to you…”

“Charlotte, no. We would never do something like that! The success of our business is important to us and your father has done things he isn’t proud of, but we would never, ever do something like that. Do we want you to marry someone who is wealthy and will take care of you? Yes, of course, every parent does, but we want you to marry for love, sweet cheeks. We want you to find happiness.”

“So why does Jonas think I’m his?”

“I don’t know, honestly. The only thing I can think of is that he somehow caught wind of Ashton’s plan. Perhaps he thinks because Ashton and Daddy do business that somehow you belong together. I have no clue.”

“So why all this? Why all the secrets and lies and making me feel like I’m going crazy when I’m being stalked? Why haven’t you guys been here for me?” Tears stream down my face now, big fat snotty ones. I’m sobbing, letting all the pain of their rejection and betrayal over the past months come to the surface. Mom’s chin quivers. She places a chunk of my dirty hair behind my ear and wipes my tears while she holds me.

“Oh pumpkin, I’m so sorry. I found a bug in the house and Ashton had gotten in somehow and was monitoring us. My guess is to make sure that your father wouldn’t betray him. Daddy found out what Ashton was doing amongst his companies and confronted him. Ashton is a paranoid man, as he should be. The FBI has been investigating him. They’ve got him for numerous charges, including murder. We couldn’t… Oh god we failed you, pretty girl, we failed you.”

“Murder… well, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Did Dad do any of the things they’re accusing Mr. Myers of?”

“What? No! Your father would never. He’s been working to figure out how to dissolve their partnership, but I’m afraid it’s going to be too late. Ashton’s properties are being searched as we speak and he is being arrested and charged.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me any of this. You should have told me.”

“We didn’t want you to have any reason for them to do something to you. I’m so sorry, baby girl. We did everything wrong. We did everything so, so wrong.” She pulls me closer to her before she realizes I shouldn’t be moving and she stops. She repositions herself, so I don’t have to move for her to hold me. Propping her hip on the side of my bed and twisting in what can’t be a comfortable position, she moves to hold me, determined.

My emotions are all over the place. I’m still furious, and even more so because I understand why they did what they did. But I can’t erase the hurt it’s caused and the fact that I no longer trust my parents. They did fail me. I won’t even try to make her feel better and tell her it’s okay, because it’s not.

I’m not okay. We are not okay, but I need her right now. “Jonas?”

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