Page 30 of The Jester and His Outlaw: Part 2

“From where?” He sets two six packs on the counter and claps me on the shoulder.

“Charley snuck a bunch of them in my backpack before I left her place,” I say dryly. The need to complain about it is strong, but J has heard it all before. He knows what I’m thinking and what I want to say. However, Charley did something nice for me and I’m trying to learn to accept the people in my life, so I’m not going to ruin the sentiment by being a dick.

I have nothing to prove to either of them.

“You mean you let her?” he jokes, sarcastically appalled. Then his grin turns manic. “So you’re the reason I finally got laid tonight.”

That catches me off guard. It’s been a while since we’ve talked about our sex lives. I’ve been so out of it lately. “Huh?”

“Yeah, the girls were supposed to hang out tonight. Charley ditched and Fox came over.”

“No shit. How was it?” I knew he’d been holding out. Or rather, he and Foxy both had. Which is surprising because neither of them holds sex as something special. It’s just sex. But with one another, they’ve held off.

They want the relationship to be there before anything else. Things must be pretty serious if they finally gave in to their desires.

“Fuck, I’m pretty sure I died and went to heaven. At least it feels like I did.”

I grimace playfully because I could say the same thing. “They had to have planned it this way. I’m fucking wiped, dude.” Roaring laughter bursts from Jensen’s gut.

“Shit, you too?” he muses, rubbing his stomach with a giant hand. I swear the motherfucker is massive in size and personality. I honestly am surprised Foxy can handle him. But then again, she comes off as a super confident chick who knows what she wants and what she’s doing, so she’s probably fine.

“Charley is not what I expected in the bedroom, that’s for sure.”She’s got a hell of an appetite. “You hungry?” I ask, looking at the stash of meals in the fridge as I put his beers up. He twists the caps off two of them he set aside for us. He will deny my offer, but like him, and I will always offer if I have something to give.

“I ate plenty,” he says with a shit-eating grin.

“Sick bastard.”

We move into the living room when my stomach goes awry. I’m about to ask for help because I have no other fucking choice. Even with the extra shifts at the bookshop they are giving me, I’ll never make ends meet once I have to pay rent again. Moving out isn’t something I want to do, it’s a necessity. Without Jensen’s help, I won’t have anywhere to go without finding a roommate. Emotional baggage and living with someone I don’t know would be a nightmare. Plus, Charley doesn’t need to spend her time sneaking around a roommate of mine.

Jensen is going to be as happy as a pig in mud that I’m reaching out, and that is the only thing that keeps me from turning away from the idea. He’s finally going to get what he wants and while I may beg Charley, I won’t beg Jensen. I may be desperate, but I won’t beg. Shit, I’ll barely be able to get the words out.

I grow serious, sitting up and placing my elbows on my knees, anxious as shit. Somehow, being in a fight-or-flight position helps. My brother takes notice, raising an eyebrow as if to ask me if I’m good. The tiniest tilt of my chin is the only response I give as I rub my hands together, then shake them out. I shouldn’t be this fucking worked up. It’s only Jensen. I guess maybe a part of me believes I might be too late, that I’m waiting for him to say sorry, but that ship has sailed. “J,” I start, but it comes out as more of a pathetic squeak.

Working to hold back his laugh, he covers his mouth with the back of his hand as he swallows a swig of beer. “What’s up?”

“Well, first off, I want to say thank you. For everything but especially, as weird as it was, for the tough love and forcing me to listen to how much I was hurting Charley. I realize I’ve been selfish and you guys don’t deserve that shit.” When I finally risk a glance up at him, because I’m being a coward and can’t look him in the eye as I apologize, his expression is one of appreciation that makes me settle. I should’ve known with J it would be that way. He’s a kind soul, a friendship that I am so lucky to have in my life.

“It’s no problem, man. I did it for more selfish reasons than anything. It hurts me to see you like that. To know that you’re struggling so badly and there is nothing I can do about it. It frustrates me and maybe I was a little tough, but I needed you to see what you had in her and you just weren’t. When we picked her up that day, I thought she was going to leave you. Seriously, and I couldn’t stand it.” I nod my acknowledgment and absorb the weight of that statement. I never want to hurt him and to know that I have been without meaning to sucks.

Before I let it drag me down or deter me from the rest of what I wanted to say to him, I rub my hands together and take in another breath. “Also, thank you for paying my rent this month, fucker.” He snickers and I toss a throw pillow at him. I’m terrible at awkward conversations. “But, as much as I’m working at the bookstore, I’m never going to make it.”

To my surprise, he doesn’t say I told you so or smirk or even give me a knowing look. He just sits there blinking, waiting for me to finish.

“That sucks,” he says when my pause goes on longer than it should have. Why am I so bad at asking for help? My damn hands are clammy and sweat is forming on my spine. This is ludicrous. J is my best friend, and he has offered so many times. Even my pulse is up.

“Yeah, so I was wondering…” I fidget, uncomfortable and feeling like a jackass. The ghost of a smirk finally plays with the corners of his lips.Asshole.“Is the offer for the apartment still available?”

“Sure is. All yours if you want it.”

“Now wait…” I put my hand up, not letting relief take over just yet. We have to negotiate. The tilt of his chin is subtle, but it’s there, telling me to continue. “How much is rent?”

“Rent is a grand a month.”

“Fuck,” I sigh, dejected. I knew it would be expensive, but I didn’t know it would be that much. I should have, because Mr. Tucker would never give Jensen a break.

“Government housing, so even though the tenants pay little to live there, most of them anyway, I still have to reimburse my father what he would get from them.” Anger at myself twists my gut. Why the fuck did I even bring this up? I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford it and the only way I can is if I depend on him, which I don’t want to do.

“I can’t even come close to that. Thanks for the offer but I’ll figure something else out.”

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