Over the past year, I’ve become accustomed to the letdown, the disappointment, but I also am not letting it get me down. That week after the hit, I was a miserable wreck, and I’d almost lost him. That’s not something I ever want to experience again. Some days are hard and a struggle, but the support I have around me is never-ending. Between family and friends, there isn’t a day that goes by, still after a year, that they don’t let me know they are there for me.
“Nothing. It’s good to be back here.”
“You look good in this environment. You haven’t even put your pads on and you’re already glowing.”
“I’m glowing?” He stops me, sweeping my hair off my shoulder and letting it slip through his fingers. I’ve always been one to keep my hair up. It’s just easier, but since I met Riggs, I like it down. Him running his fingers through it has become a comfort of mine.
“This is your place, Outlaw. Hell yeah, you’re glowing.” Soft lips meet the tip of my nose, then curl into a serene smile.
“I have a good feeling about today. I don’t know what it is, but the first time since the hit, it’s right.”
“I’m not gonna argue that. Now get your ass in there and get your pads on.” Riggs slaps me on the ass and whistles, both sounds echoing through the open space. “Fuck you look good in those jeans.”
My walk isn’t quite a saunter but slow, and I’m still a little unsteady sometimes, but I do my best to add a little sway to my hips. My doctors are convinced that muscle memory will kick in and help strengthen my legs. They’re optimistic that it will aid in a full recovery as long as I take it easy and don’t go too hard.
My therapist yelled at me a few times for trying to push myself past my boundaries. I don’t expect I’ll make it back to being an Olympic hopeful, but as long as I can still play and turn hockey into some sort of career, I think I’ll be okay with that.
I’m a little rusty getting my pads on, fucking up the order some, but I managed. When I step out of the locker room ready to go, nerves spoiling my belly a bit, I see two figures out on the ice in full gear. Kai, I recognize instantly, but it takes a second to register that Riggs is out there looking like any other player ready to tango with a rival team.
While he is now built like an athlete, this is a surprise.
My libido is calling out to him. There is nothing like a hockey player in full gear. He’s definitely getting lucky again when we get home, regardless of how this goes. That shit is too hot to ignore. He seems to know where my mind is going because his eyes flash and a cocksure grin has that dimple popping out.
He knows damn well what he’s doing to me.
Moving slowly and getting used to carrying the weight of my gear, working through the bulk of my pads, I make it to the gate. Kai and Riggs greet me, opening it.
“Kai, what are you doing here?” My voice quivers as I’m suddenly overcome with emotion. This is a big moment, monumental in my recovery and now that I’m here, with my busy brother who I’ve always played with, I’m not sure I’ll be able to step on the ice.
Hockey dominates my memories, and until the hit, they’re all good. The bad ref calls, the hits I’ve taken, broken bones, sprained ligaments, all of it is great because that’s the nature of the beast, but if I can’t play anymore…
I’m not sure I’m ready to face that.
“I’m here to play hockey. Why the hell else would I be here?”
I laugh but fail to cover the anxiety fluttering in my voice. Riggs and Kai both disregard it and I couldn’t be more grateful. I know for a fact I’ll step on that ice today, but I need a moment and for things to be normal. Riggs on the ice isn’t normal, but Kai is and I didn’t realize how much it wouldn’t be right if he weren’t here.
I extend my stick and hook it around Riggs’ calf, eyeing him up and down. He’s gorgeous and with his new size and pads, not someone I would want to tangle with on the ice.
“What is all this?”
“He’s actually really fucking good, and it’s annoying.” Surprise arches my brow and I fight a smirk. Kai is one hell of an athlete, but it sure as hell didn’t come naturally to him. He has to work to be as good as he is and in hockey, natural skill is easily recognizable.
His skills shouldn’t surprise me. Riggs has proven to be very good at everything he does, and I agree with Kai. It can be annoying to see everything come so easily to him.
“I’m not that good.”
“That’s why they’re asking you to come to A-league,” Kai mutters. A-league in recreational hockey is where all the best players are. Former pros join the teams and people who could’ve made it to the NHL but didn’t want it.
“No shit. Are you serious? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs like it’s nothing, and that’s not nothing. That’s a big deal and he should know what that does to my insides. The smirk he gives me is knowing as he says, “I wanted to at least learn to skate, learn some plays or something so I can be a part of your recovery on the ice.”
“Then he fucked around and got good.” Kai clearly is bitter about Riggs’ success. It makes me smile.
“But I also didn’t want to tell you because hockey is your life. I didn’t want you watching me play when you couldn’t be out here with me, so Kai and J have been teaching me.”
“Riggs… you have no clue how much this means to me.”