Page 93 of The Jester and His Outlaw: Part 2

“Okay. I’ll walk you out if they allow you to leave.” He hands me his keys. “You can drive, I’m sure you need it.”

“J, you can stay here. I’ll be alright. Just want some time to myself. I’ll check in.” He’s hesitant for a minute, but eventually agrees and claps me on the shoulder.

“Every hour, fucker.” Normally I would give him some bullshit, whiny excuse to piss him off, but it’s not in me. I nod as he steps back.

“I’ll be in touch.”

“You’re leaving?” A deep voice bellows from behind Jensen. My best friend’s body blocks my view of Kai.

“Yeah, man, I’m out.” I jam my finger into the down button again, praying I can make a swift escape. Talking to her brother is not something I want to get into.

Kai scrubs a hand down his face and blows out a breath. His eyes turn pleading, the same hazel eyes that I see when I look at my Outlaw.

“Look, I’m not sure what happened between you two, but you can’t leave, not now.”

“You saw what I did in there. She doesn’t want me. She’s done,” I tell him.

“She doesn’t know what she wants. All of this has her brain fucked right now, but you make her so happy. Please don’t walk away from her now.”

“It’s too late. I will not hurt her any longer. She doesn’t want me around.” The elevator dings and I spare one last glance at him, tilting my lip up in a soft smile. “We can still be friends. In fact, I hope we will…”

“She’s hysterical, Riggs, and I can’t calm her. My mother can’t be here for another couple of hours because she’s on a flight and I doubt it will help, anyway. I’m at a loss. They’re going to sedate her if she doesn’t calm down.” Kai’s eyes drop to the floor before they jump back to mine. “Fuck! I’m sorry to put that pressure on you. It’s you she needs.”

He’s shaking, distressed.

Pain spears me in the chest at the thought of her being distraught. Sedate her? What the fuck? Damn it, this isn’t her. Where the fuck ismyOutlaw? I thought nothing would bring her down.

Her strength has kept me together—alive—all this time. I haven’t nurtured it enough for her and that is completely my fault. She deserves more from me.

Everything in me is begging to go to her. To soothe her worries and take away her pain, to shoulder it as my own, like I’ve tried to do. Like she’s denied me the ability to do.

But she needs more help than I can give and she’s clarified that she doesn’t want me there. I start the motion of turning back around and in a flash, Kai’s hand juts out and wraps around my bicep.

“Please,” he begs, packing every plea in his eyes that he can.

I study him, his desperation, his pain, his fear for his little sister. He knows my outlook on life; he knows I’ve been where she might be. It’s bothered him since he found out, and he has no clue how to handle it.

The look he’s giving me tears me apart. He’s bleeding for his little sister and at a loss for what to do. He sees me as his only hope, and I’m not sure I can handle that sort of weight on my shoulders after everything that’s happened.

I can endure it, though, if it will help Outlaw. I have to because I promised I wouldn’t let her down and she shouldn’t be in the position I once was of wanting to end things.

With a giant exhale and every excuse to step into that elevator waiting in my mind, tasting bitter on my tongue, I nod and turn back toward the room she’s in.

“Thank fuck.” He exhales heavily, with as much relief as my decision allows him. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I could make her worse.” My tone is grim.

I stride forward, pushing one foot in front of the other, forcing myself to keep moving toward her. My heart is pounding, fear of what I’m about to walk in on twisting in my gut. From a few steps away, the sound of Chandler trying to console Outlaw meets me. She’s completely lost it, completely broken down to where maybe sedation is the only option to give her mind a break.

Guards and doctors are rushing around with police officers and what looks to be some F.B.I agents standing outside of Outlaw’s room. The nurses will not let them in.

“We are trying to move her so you can get to your scene. Right now I need you to back up because I have a patient that needs our help.” The agents back away when Chandler steps up behind the nurse.

My step quickens when she calls out for her guard. The agents eye me and Chandler follows their line of sight to me. He tilts his chin in my direction, relief setting in his shoulders.

I skirt past everyone, stopping dead in my tracks at the foot of her bed. Nurses move around her, prepping her. She blanches when she sees me, tears flooding her hazel eyes. I dodge a nurse who sort of moves me toward Outlaw but doesn’t outright encourage it. The nurse is completely aware of who I am to her patient.

What the fuck do I do or say? I have no clue how to console people. I have an inkling of what I should do but I’d be working on pure instinct. Another slightly more possessive part of me wants to kick every person in this room out so no one can see her suffering, so I can shield her and keep her all to myself until she is healed.

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