“It’s okay, sis. I’ll kick J’s ass in some Call Of Duty.”

“Fuck off, I’m gonna kick your ass.” Jensen passes by with a squeeze to my shoulder and a sympathetic frown. If I weren’t in such misery, I’d give him a smile, but it just isn’t there for me to give.

Once we’re alone, the guys shouting obscenities at one another as background noise, I explain everything to Foxy. Everything to the best of my ability.

I tell her every detail about the hate sex we had against the door. My explanation is pretty graphic, even for me, but I have to dissect it so I can wrap my brain around what the fuck happened.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Foxy muses, her eyes glinting. Exhaustion is crippling me, both physically and mentally, but I’ve had three hard ciders, so I’m a bit giggly and relaxed as well. My outlook on what transpired isn’t so grim at the moment.

“Right?”

“He fucked you… like fucked you, fucked you?”

“I’m not sure of the difference, but it certainly wasn’t sweet and romantic like our first time together.”

“What are you going to do?”

Hell if I know. But I don’t want to talk about that anymore. “Let’s watch some movies or something.”

A few hours later,we’re sitting on the couch watching Paranormal Activity when Jensen sits up, a wrinkle creasing his brow. Immediately, I pick up on his turmoil, despite him trying to keep it under wraps. My back becomes straighter and my pulse quickens.

“I’ll be back in a little while, Fox. I’m gonna go check on him. He’s not responding.” Foxy rolls her eyes in exasperation and if I wasn’t so fucking in love with Riggs, I might feel the same way. It must get old to have her man constantly ripped from her to deal with him. Jensen’s devotion knows no bounds.

I try to stifle my worry. He’s not mine to worry about.

Yeah, right.

“Keep an eye on them,” he says to Kai. Kai gives him a stern bow of his chin. Jensen turns to me. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him.”

Jensen is almost to the door when a burning question rises to the surface. “When do we stop?” He freezes, his hand on the doorknob. He turns to me with a frown.

“We don’t. At least I won’t. I understand if you have to, but I can’t. He needs someone in his corner. I know he’s not easy to be around, but he’s one of the best people I know.” Jensen doesn’t hand that statement out lightly, I can tell. He means it wholeheartedly. With nothing left for me to say, he exits the house.

Now that Jensen is out of the picture, Foxy snuggles deeper into Kai’s hold. Jealousy flickers through me. Not that I want to snuggle my brother. I want someone to snuggle me like that. That someone being Riggs. We need more time together where we aren’t fighting orfuckingor trying to push each other away. But cuddling. I’ve fantasized so much about it in the past month, I can all but tell where his hands are on me right now.

Maybe that’s just the lasting effects of how he handled me this afternoon.

I groan and pull the blanket up around me. Not only can I feel him, but I can still smell him on me. It’s intoxicating, troubling.

“You alright, sis?” Kai asks, scrunching his lips, his hazel eyes taking in my appearance.

“Honestly? No, I don’t think I am.” His frown deepens and my heart sinks. I’m pitiful.

“It’s gonna be alright. You both are,” he offers encouragingly, and Foxy rubs his forearm.

“I hope you’re right.” My somber mood isn’t sparking any hope, so I hold on to his words as I close my eyes, hoping Jensen comes back with some news, or Riggs.

CHAPTER8

RIGGS

Fucking A,I’m drunk.

I shouldn’t be because I should handle my shit better, seeing as it’s all self inflicted. The consequences of screwing her like that were so obvious before I had even started. Now that the task is complete, it is worse. She shattered me.

That’s wrong. I shattered myself with her help. Now, I’m drunk and it’s horrible.

Sleep eludes me.Fucker.Every time I close my eyes, she’s there, and it’s painful. Whisky isn’t even palatable, especially this cheap shit. It’s disgusting and it burns. Tomorrow, when it all comes back up, it’s going to burn even more.