Page 67 of The Jester and His Outlaw: Part One

He reacts as if that question caught him when he wasn’t ready. He considers his answer for sometime and for a moment, I think he is going to tell me. “That’s a question for Riggs, Charley. I’m sorry, I’m still not comfortable discussing his story and I doubt he’d be happy with me telling you.”

“It’s okay, I get it.”

“Have you not talked about his parents yet?” he asks, and I’m pretty sure his hand moves to Foxy’s thigh beneath the table. She shifts in her seat.

“No, we’re not there yet. Until our little chat just now, I wasn’t sure we were anywhere, still not.” Other than explosive in so many ways?

Jensen frowns, and it hurts my heart, confirming my fears. Riggs is alone. “Please keep trying,” he says with so much sincerity, it’s a plea for his best friend. “Riggs needs people in his life. He doesn’t open up to anyone, not even me, but for some reason, he is seeking you out, bringing you up in our conversations. I’m not saying the weight of his troubles is on your shoulders, but if you have any interest in him, I don’t think it would hurt to talk to him. To dig a bit. He might tell you.”

I don’t detect any jealousy from Jensen that Riggs will talk to me. He gives off relief. Relief for his friend. Just how bad is Riggs’ story?

“Does Riggs haveanyone?” I know that answer. Riggs told me, but I guess I need to hear it from someone else.

“He has Gramma.” Jensen’s confirmation is grim, so grim I shudder. Riggs confirmed that she’s not dead, but it isn’t looking good at all. That it could be any time now.

“Is his dad dead, too?”

“Riggs’ parents were killed in an accident when he was little. Gramma raised him. I’m sorry, the rest is up to him to tell you. You should ask him.” I nod, hearing him. It sounds bad. An accident. He didn’t say a car accident or a boating accident, just an accident.

What the hell happened?Jensen may think Riggs is ready, but I get the feeling he’s not and with everything he’s dealing with, I’m not sure I want to be the one to dredge up his past.

I burrow into his hoodie and shoot him a text, needing to feel closer to him. I’m sure I will regret it later, but I can’t ignore my connection to him, the constant pull of my heart in his direction. It’s fucking terrifying, yet I can’t stop it. I might come on too strong. Logically I am, but something tells me it’s not the wrong move to make.

Me: I miss you.

Jester: I miss you too, Outlaw.His words jumpstart my heart again. Such a strong declaration.

Me: Are you okay? How is Gramma?

Jester: Sleeping.

He ignored my first question, which probably isn’t good. But I let it slide. I know he isn’t okay, no need to rub it in his face.

Me: I’m here if you need me.

Jester: Thanks.

CHAPTER31

RIGGS

I swing by the university,needing a break from the suffocating gloom that is my apartment. Gramma is sleeping pretty much all the time now, barely eating or drinking, talking or laughing. God, I miss her laugh so much. There is an ache in my chest that won’t fucking leave. I can’t stand it anymore. I’m going out of my mind.

The only thing getting me out of bed at this point is the fact that there is a text from Charley every morning reminding me how she is there for me, that I can do this, that she is by my side. I want to let her in; I fucking do. But I have no clue how, because I’m in deep now. The kiss was a mistake when I knew I was struggling with opening up to her. Things between us have to end because I can’t let her in on all my secrets. I can’t tell her I’m a murderer. Her rejection at this point would destroy me. It’s better to let her down before she finds out.

I tossed and turned all night, lingering regret filtering through my mind. I must have been possessed when I kissed her because that was an insane move.

That kiss might have been one of the best moments of my life. Every reason why I need to cut it off. Her hold is already too strong.

But I didn’t even tell her I was coming to the university, did I? No, because I’m a coward. How the hell am I going to break up with her if I can’t willingly face her to do it? This afternoon is the perfect opportunity. Only, we’ve just gotten started and I like it. I like the idea of us, what we could be. It’s hard to imagine I once saw her as anyone other than who she is.

“Jesus, Riggs. I can hear your brain working. What is it?” Jensen asks, his hockey bag slung over his shoulder, sweaty and red-faced from practice. His stick is bouncing with each giant step he takes, clunking against the bag like he lacks the energy to hold it properly.

“Nothing, man. Just got a lot on my mind.” He grunts as if to say, “as usual.” I sigh, hating that my silence hurts him. “Charley is on my mind, that’s all.”

“Man, she’s really into you.”

“I’m into her,” I agree, sounding love sick and regretting it. Jensen chuckles.

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