Page 5 of Cruel Love

“Hey, Aspen.” I hit the arrow on the bulky controller connected to my bed to turn down the TV. “Where’ve you been?”

“Hi. Um, just school and work. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” As if I would complain to a hot girl. Nope, that would only make me look weak, and I didn’t need any more of that. “Why haven’t you come back to see me? It’s boring as hell here. I spend most of the daytime being poked and prodded, but I’m mostly by myself at night.” Besides, I thought she might tell me the truth about what happened in the accident, because there sure as hell was something no one else would tell me.

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me there. But I’ll try to come in tomorrow since I’m not working the dinner shift.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you around, surfer girl?” There was silence for a few seconds. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, I… why did you call me that? Do you remember me?”

“Shit, I’m sorry. Of all the things to remember about the past five years, I would want to remember you. You just… I don’t know. You remind me of surfing. A pink bikini comes to mind, and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in it.”

She laughed, and the sound was like sunshine. “Okay, yeah. Surfing’s my thing, but what you just called me… it’s a nickname you used for me before.”

Before the accident fucked up my head. She seemed sad that I didn’t remember her, and that was the last thing I wanted. There was something about this chick. I liked her—a lot. “I overheard the nurses today. They didn’t know I was standing near the door and weren’t aware that I could hear them.” This was hard. I hadn’t told anyone. “They mentioned my dad. I guess he was here.”

“Are you okay with that? Did you see him?”

“Hell no. I would have had him kicked out if he tried to come in. I’ve never seen him in person before. Only on TV.”

“Do you think he’s trying to make up for… things?”

The way she said that was weird. Seriously? My dad? I wanted nothing to do with him, which was what he wanted from us. “He abandoned my mom when she was pregnant with us. Left her the house and figured that was good enough. He never gave her child support or tried to see us.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

“The thing is, I’m good with it. It’s a life lesson, ya know? How not to treat my kid. If I have one, I’m going to stay, no matter what. That kid will always know how much I care.”

“That’s very admirable.” Her voice broke a little.

“Are you okay?” I didn’t understand why what I’d said affected her so much. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. I hated it when anyone I loved cried. Like Mom… it was the worst, and I would do anything to make her happy. Never letting my dad into my life was one way.

“No, really. I’m fine. But don’t you think your mom would want you to forgive your dad? Maybe hear him out?”

I snorted. She might sometimes act like she was open to it, but my mom was too good for that asshole. She didn’t need him, and she didn’t want him fucking up our lives for whatever selfish reason he might have had. “He hurt her. Abandoned her when she needed him most. It was a good thing Grandad helped when she needed it… not like her sister. Mainly because Aunt Linda has her own problems.” I realized I probably wasn’t making sense but kept going anyway. “Honestly, I can’t even imagine how hellish it was for mom after Nona died. Grandad was no picnic then. He was lost in grief and got a little too involved in Mom’s life, which we suspect was from fear. He’d already lost so much. He meant well, but he and Mom went head-to-head when he tried to get her to reduce her hours. He offered to take over more bills. That wasn’t what Mom wanted, though.”

“Does Shane feel the same way about your dad or how your grandad tries to get involved?”

That was a tricky question because I wasn’t always sure. He used to, regarding our dad, or I thought he did. “Maybe? He should. But Shane’s got a softer heart. He’s quicker to forgive. It’s something I worry about.” The more I thought about it, my head throbbed. There was a memory in there somewhere, hammering to come out. I wished like crazy that it would, but I could do without the pain.

“I wasn’t sure if I should’ve called, and I didn’t mean to get so personal with all those questions. I just wanted to know how you’re feeling.”

“I’m fine. Just frustrated. The doctors aren’t saying much. Only that I need to be patient and not try to force the memories. But it’s weird to feel like I’m fourteen but not look like it.” I chuckled in a half-assed way.

“I can’t imagine. It’s weird for me too.”

Right there. “There’s something between us, isn’t there? Are you my girlfriend?”

She laughed but didn’t answer me.

“It would be pretty great if you were.” I wasn’t lying about that. The girl was incredible looking, a freaking wet dream. “I can’t stop thinking about you. And if you are my girlfriend, you should definitely come over. I don’t remember losing my virginity, but we can pretend I’m losing it all over again.” I wanted that right fucking now.

“I can tell you for sure that you’re not a virgin.”

“Want to help out with that? You can make me remember everything buried in my mind.”

“I-I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later, Phoenix.”

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