Page 10 of Cruel Love

That kiss…

My skin heated as I remembered the way he’d controlled it. Mentally, he should have been behind, fumbling, not sure what to do with his tongue and teeth. But there had been none of that. The way his mouth consumed mine had been just as potent as before, maybe even more because I was falling so hard for him.

In that accident, he’d risked his life and shielded the baby and me, and I would never forget it. And for that reason alone, I was going to open up to him and show him who I was. In the process, I would learn everything I could about him. Maybe we would make it—not at a relationship, because I still didn’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend—but at being close friends who relied on one another.

Liar. You’re lying to yourself.

I ignored my brain. I was standing firm in my thoughts on dating and marriage. Nothing would sway me.

But that kiss…

I drove to the dorms on autopilot. Everything was too much. I had to talk to someone. My go-to person was Max, but he was on a date, and I was not going to crash it. My sister, Regan, had texted earlier to tell me that she was with Dane's family at some Broadway production, and my friends Riley, Sky, and Cass were studying for an important exam. That left… Mom.

Riley, Sky, and Cass had gotten me a teal beanbag chair with a back and a matching ottoman. I loved it, and I planted myself there while I waited for Mom to answer.

“Aspen.” Mom’s voice had a smile to it. “I was just thinking about you. Your ears must be burning.”

That was weird, but I didn’t even care because it was comforting. I slouched in the chair, resting my head on the rounded beanbag back. “Mom, things are crazy, and I just… needed to talk.”

“Well, I’m always here for you.” Mom’s smooth voice soothed me.

She hadn’t always been there for me, but I would take it. “Are you and Dad still”—I refused to say “disappointed,” which was their actual stance—“upset with me?”

She sighed, and I heard the scrape of a chair. I could almost see the kitchen chair moving against the tile floor.

“No, neither of us is upset with you. It was just a shock. And after everything we’d been through and the fights you and Regan have witnessed between us”—a briskness snapped through her words—“it stunned us that you were following the same path.”

I shifted uncomfortably, sinking farther into the beanbag chair. “Mom—”

“Hear me out, honey. As I said, it was a surprise. And your dad, he wanted so much more for you girls. He’s so afraid that you’ll be unhappy like I was.”

“Was?” My eyebrows rose.

“Yes. We’ve been working on things. Going to counseling. It’s not that we didn’t have a connection or didn’t love each other.” Her chair creaked, telling me which one she was sitting in. “We just each carry so much resentment and use it as a weapon. But we’re trying.”

“Is it easier without Regan and me there?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, because we love you girls more than anything, but yes.” Her nails drummed on the kitchen table. “There’s no one else to worry about but us. And we’ve found that we can pause in moments and listen to each other. We’ve both tried to put ourselves in the other's shoes and hear why they said something or what the problem is without snap judgment and defensiveness.”

“That’s great, Mom. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thanks, honey. So long drawn-out explanation aside, we’re not upset with you. We want what’s best for you, whatever that may be.”

“Mom, things are a mess. Phoenix still thinks he’s fourteen. He doesn’t know about the baby, and I feel like I’m lying to him and keeping things like the ultrasound from him. And I worry that when he gets his memory back—if he gets it back—he won’t forgive me for not telling him.”

“That boy will forgive you. I saw the way he looked at you when we met him. And Regan was gushing about him before her trip.”

“But—”

“He’s a little rough around the relationship edges? Honey, that’s how a lot of men are. But how he took care of you by getting you away while Dad and I were fighting at the table that first time we met. He took control of the conversation and backed you up. And let’s not leave out how he looked at you when you were preoccupied and didn’t notice. That boy is very into you. He won’t hold anything against you. This is an impossible situation, and I’m sure he knows that on some level.”

“Maybe.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m just worried and frustrated.”

“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Do you want to come home? Is there anything you need?”

“No. I’m fine. I promise.”

“Just hang in there and try to stay calm. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby.”

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