Page 30 of The C*ck Down the Block

His eyes flicked down to my lips, which I accidentally parted and maybe I licked them. His eyes went all sparkly and dark and he leaned in closer “Trixie, I—

My pants buzzed with the excitement of whatever he was about to say, and again because he really was going to kiss me again. Buzz buzz, buzz buzz. Oh shit. That wasn’t me or my pants. That was my phone. I shoved my hand in my pocket to make it stop and epically failed.

“Beatrix? Hello? Is your camera broken? Why is it so dark? Beatrix?” My mom’s voice sounded from the depths, and I had to fish the phone out.

“Saved by the international call,” Chris said, breaking into a smile and taking a step back.

“Saved,” I echoed, bringing the screen up so my mother wasn’t left in the dark. Umm, saved from what exactly?

“Hello, darling. How’s my favorite daughter?” My mom’s cheerful voice was almost too loud, practically bursting through the phone from half a world away.

“Hey, Mom. Say hi, Chris.”

“Hello, Mrs. Moore.” Chris waved when I turned the screen and his voice tinged with amusement.

“Christopher, so good to see you,” Mom said, clearly delighted.

“We’re actually standing at my front door,” I told her, avoiding Chris’s eyes for fear of what I might read there.

“Well, I won’t keep you two. I can call back tomorrow. Turns out the retreat here in Nepal is quite modern and we’ve got Wi-Fi.”

“No, it’s fine,” I rushed to say. “Chris was just dropping me off. We went to a Mountaineers game.”

I caught the subtle raise of his eyebrows, but he took it in stride. “Yeah, gotta run, Mrs. Moore. Nice to hear from you.”

As soon as I heard his car pull away, I let out a breath I absolutely knew I was holding. Holding so I wouldn’t blurt out that I wanted him to come inside, or that I was supremely confused, or cock-a-doodle doo for goodness’ sake. I finally got my key in the door, stepped inside, and shut it behind me, leaning against it like it could support the weight of the confusion settling in my mind.

“So,” Mom started in a vastly different tone than thirty seconds ago. “Chris Kingman, on your front porch. Your heart’s been ride-or-die for that boy for a long time, honey.”

“Mom, don’t make it weird.”

“Who’s making it weird? I’m just stating the facts and opening up the door for the conversation you clearly are looking to have. We talk about feelings in this family, even if it’s from seven thousand miles away.”

I groaned. “I know. I just, I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

I kicked off my Converse and padded through the house to the back door. I needed to check on the chickens, and maybe see if any of them wanted to cuddle. Luke was usually up for an evening snuggle before they all bedded down. Especially if it came with treats. I grabbed a container of cut strawberries from the fridge along the way. I could use a sweet treat myself.

Mom chuckled. “I can tell. So what’s going on with you and Chris? It sounded like I interrupted something.”

I hesitated, then spilled. “We kissed. At the game. He got the kiss cam to point right at us, it was supposed to be fake, but it was impulsive and thrilling, and I don’t know.”

Crapballs. I knew it the second it came out of my mouth. My mother would glom on to the fake kiss part and dig into it like an archeological find of the heart.

“A kiss is a powerful thing, sweetheart. Sometimes it’s just a kiss, but other times it’s the start of something more. Did it feel fake?”

Wait a minute? Who was this person I was talking to on the other side of the world and what had she done with my mother who’d ground into me to always be open and truthful with my feelings and my dealings? Faking it was not in her vocabulary.

“You’re not going to grill me on the fake part?” I opened the gate around the coop and the girls came clucking out into the yard. Luke was perched on the top of the coop just staring at me.

“You were going to tell me anyway.”

Dammit. She was right. It was a simple question, but the answer was anything but. “No, it didn’t feel fake. And that’s what’s confusing. Exciting? Weird? Awkward, but also, not at all. See? Confusing.”

Mom hummed knowingly. “Ah, a confusing kiss. Classic symptom of having feelings you’re not quite ready to acknowledge for the one you’re kissing.”

Me? Feelings for Chris? I’d never allowed myself to consider a thing like that. He was my friend and I liked having him in that safe space in my heart. Anything else might ruin it. Ruin everything. “It just feels strange. He’s supposed to be my fake boyfriend for the reunion, but the way he’s acting doesn’t feel fake. None of it.”

“Ahh, I should have known this had something to do with the Queen Bees.” A million and twelve times I’d heard my mother lament that I chose to go to her alma mater instead of the public school the rest of the kids in the neighborhood went to. Especially when I was getting bullied. But my mama didn’t raise no quitter who ran away from a body shaming fight. “You already fought those battles, Beatrix. Why don’t you just skip the reunion and explore this budding relationship with Chris?”

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