Page 19 of The C*ck Down the Block

“Mina says we can have a threesome if you want to.” Lulu moved the camera so her wife, who was standing behind her in the kitchen, could wave.

“Thanks, but it’s too late now. I’m already committed to the ruse.” Unless, of course, Chris said no. He really didn’t seem to like the idea last night when I asked him, and I hadn’t heard from him yet this morning. I did say he could have time to think about it. But mostly so he didn’t shoot me down right then and there. I planned to ply him with some of Paul Hollywood’s jammy biscuits later to butter him up to say yes.

It’s not like it was some long term thing. Two evenings and one picnic. We could even skip the picnic if he really didn’t want to go. Honestly, we could skip the dinner and dance too. All I really needed him to show up for was the fundraiser. Which I still had to ask if he and any of his brothers would consider donating too.

No way I was hosting a freaking bachelor auction. Yuck. Since Rachel had put me in charge of the fundraiser, we’d be doing what I wanted. So there.

God, she brought out the worst in me, and I hated that about myself. This wasn’t high school, I wasn’t a teenager still trying to figure out who and what I wanted to be, and I’d gotten over caring what haters thought or said a long time ago. Or at least I thought I had.

I could use some good old-fashioned words of wisdom from my mom right about now. She was the queen of having a barren field of fucks. But she and dad were on their way to some tantric sex retreat in the Himalayas or something.

“Well, what did he say when you asked him?”

Ooph. “He hasn’t answered yet. I told him he could think about it. It was kind of awkward.” Which I wasn’t used to with Chris.

“I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you.” Lulu was not, in fact, shocked. Her eyeroll and her deadpan tone were much stronger than her words.

I didn’t know what I was going to do if he did say no. He wouldn’t though. He couldn’t. He might. Ergh. I hadn’t been this awkward around him since the summer before college. I’d been angry and hurting back then and had taken it out on him when he was just trying to be nice.

We hadn’t spoken much at all after that and pretty much totally lost touch when I went off to school in Wisconsin. But when I moved back to Thornminster a couple of years ago, we were like peas and carrots again, and he’d never mentioned how rude I’d been to him, not once.

Some people were just kindred spirits, as Anne of Green Gables would say. Chris and Lulu were mine. Didn’t matter if we didn’t talk for a few hours or a few years, we just picked right back up where we left off.

But had I just quashed that kindred feeling by crossing the boundaries of our friendship? Probably. That was really dumb of me. Chris’s friendship meant more to me than showing Rachel that I wasn’t some crazy chicken lady.

“I guess I’d better call him and tell him to forget it.” I could handle some disdain and taunts from girls who were stuck in high school better than I could feeling like I screwed up my relationship with one of my best friends. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I do, but Mina says I should keep my thoughts to myself and let you figure it out on your own.” I could still see Mina in the background, and she had her arms crossed and was simply nodding.

“Mina is a meanie.” I stuck my tongue out at them both.

Lulu waggled her eyebrows. “I know. Isn’t it hot?”

They were so fricking cute and in love, it made my heart both happy and hurt. Something I tried not to even think, much less say out loud, was that worry in the back of my mind that I might never get to experience love like that.

Except with Luke Skycocker. He loved me, even if no other man wanted me for more than bragging rights.

“I guess I’ll call him and...” Say what? Kidding? He’d know I was lying instantly. And Chris hated lies. What a mess.

“Give him a chance to respond before you nope out on the whole thing. He’s probably going to say yes anyway. When has he ever said no to you?”

I didn’t have to answer that because Luke started crowing and having a big old freak out. He was better than any guard dog when it came to alerting me to stranger danger at the house. “Gotta go, someone’s here.”

I waved at Mina and hung up before the two of them could call me out on more of my shit. They were good at that particular skill. And that’s what friends were for.

I found Luke chasing Chris around the backyard. Chris pretended he wanted to cook my rooster up on a spit, but I think the both of them secretly liked teasing each other. Luke dived for Chris’s shoes, and Chris jumped over him and sprinted for the coop. I’d seen them play this game a half dozen times before. Chris’s goal was to trick Luke into the coop, and Luke’s goal was to peck holes in any available clothing or skin. Or poop on Chris’s shoes. Good times.

Chris had the upper hand today. He was carrying Princess Laya under his arm like a football, and that had Luke all riled up. I might be his number one girl, but nobody messed with his hens. I sat on the top step of my back porch and cheered them on. “Run, Luke, run.”

Chris shot me a dirty look but turned right back to dancing around Luke’s attempts to trip him up. Luke had something in his beak, and I couldn’t quite figure out what.

Chris made a mad dash for the coop, and right at the last minute, set Laya down, giving her a little pat on the butt so she squawked and hurried through the gate. The other girls came over to greet her and Luke got caught up in their girl gang. He shot a look at Chris that clearly said ‘traitor.’ But Chris shut the gate and gave Luke a little salute. Just like the one he gave the crowd when he ran a touchdown in.

“Thanks.” I leaned back on the step, no longer having to do that chore before I left. “I needed to put him away before I headed out.”

When Chris plopped down beside me, he was panting and ruffled, like he’d been through a mini-war. There was a reddish orange smudge on his neck and another running down his forearm. Not blood, too brightly colored. I squinted at it. “Is that... lipstick?”

I did not like the weird feeling at the thought he’d been with a woman.

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