Page 48 of Blindsided

Brax laughed so hard he almost fell out of his chair. “You clearly have forgotten that you cling to me like a baby monkey when you’re sleeping! I had best hope I find a comfortable position when we first get into bed because I’m not moving the rest of the night!”

I’d definitely come to the right place. The two were the exact combination of understanding and humor that I needed to work my feelings out. “It’s not that I can’t move. I’m not much of a toss-and-turn person. It’s more that… I like it. Things feel so different with Lincoln this time around. Hell, different than any relationship I’ve ever been in.”

Dropping the jovial banter, Trevor studied me with serious eyes. “Different how, exactly?”

“Different in that I want to take care of him, even outside of a scene. Lincoln lets me dress him and undress him. I feel protective of him in a way I’ve never felt protective of another person. I’m not a caretaker.” I pointed at Brax. “You’ve been to clubs with me. You know I’m not the touchy-feely, dress-or-undress-my-sub Dom.”

Brax scoffed. “Not with casual play partners you’re not. But that doesn’t mean that you couldn’t be for someone you care about.”

“I was head over heels, stupid in love with Lincoln in college. I wasn’t like this then!”

“Things change, East. We both know that. You’re the one who swore I needed a little.”

I threw my hands in the air. “Because you are a caretaker! I’m not!”

Trevor had been sitting quietly and listening carefully to me while Brax and I went back and forth. “Let me get this straight,” he said, bringing our attention to him. “You have always seen yourself as a not-caretaker Dom, but things are changing.”

I nodded.

“And now you’ve got a submissive who likes being cared for. I’m guessing he still likes the other things you like too, or this relationship is totally doomed.”

“Fuck, he likes everything I like. We toured DASH and he was hard as a rock for the office and the crosses. We’ve been exploring some different fantasies and learning new things about one another. But Zachary showed us the room for the littles and Lincoln didn’t react at all. He later told me that it was cute, but the lifestyle didn’t interest him.”

Trevor’s eyes widened with a realization I had yet to have. Hopefully, he would clue me in on why I was so confused. “Oh! I think I get it.”

“Thank fuck one of us does.” I turned to give him my undivided attention. I really hoped he got it and could help me.

Trevor pointed his empty beer bottle at me. “You’re associating caretaker with Daddy/little. Sure, a caretaker can be a Daddy in a Daddy/little relationship, but that’s not always the case, even if Lincoln has a quilt and relaxes when he sucks your thumb. A caretaker isn’t always a Daddy. Someone who likes help getting dressed or likes soft things and physical affection isn’t always a little, or even a middle. Correct me if I’m wrong, because I haven’t actually met Lincoln, only read about him and his family when their names come up in crazy celebrity drama, but his family is pretty cold and standoffish, aren’t they?”

I nodded. “They’re unreal. Neither of his parents have called him since he’s been here. His dad has texted a few times, but he seems kinda… I dunno, checked out, maybe? It sounds like Lincoln’s mom and grandfather run the show and his older brother, despite the chaos he is always in the middle of, can do no wrong while Lincoln can do very little right. It doesn’t matter how amazing he is.”

Trevor gave me a soft smile as he nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, that’s kind of what I’d have expected given what I’ve read slash heard about the family. Maybe it’s not as complicated as little, middle, Daddy, caretaker. Maybe you’re just his safe space. The person who he doesn’t have to be the big shot around. No matter what, you’re his Dom and he’s your submissive. If you’re showing him acceptance and understanding and a willingness to take more decisions from him, that might be all this is. Don’t read too much into it.”

“Seriously?” What Trevor said made sense, but it also felt too easy. “Just, let it be?”

Trevor lifted a shoulder. “If it doesn’t bother you, then yeah. Leave it. If it’s causing problems, then you’re probably going to need to talk to him about it.”

“So he’s not a little who is looking for a Daddy to make everything better?” After Trevor had laid it out so clearly, I finally understood I’d been afraid that Lincoln needed a Daddy like Brax. I would never be as attentive and caring as he was. I could continue to do what I had been, dressing him and undressing him and letting him suck my thumb and have his quilt. Hell, I could probably pick out meals for him as well. I just didn’t see myself being the one to bathe my partner or do well watching cartoons while he played with toys or colored.

Brax let out a chuckle. “For usually being wise beyond your years, you’re kind of an idiot.”

I blinked, unsure how to respond to my best friend.

“East, you don’t have to be anything you aren’t. That’s not what Lincoln needs. Lincoln needs you. Just as you are. At the core, Lincoln knows who you are. He knows you’re not a Daddy. But I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit either.”

I looked between the two. “I really hate it when you’re right. Both of you.”

Trevor shook his head. “You actually love it.” He tried to take a swig from his beer bottle and scrunched his face up when nothing came out. “Daddy, can I have another?” He glanced at his plate, for the first time noticing it was empty. “And maybe another sandwich?”

Brax glanced at the empty plate. “Where’d you put that? Are you sure you’re still hungry?”

Trevor gave him big pleading eyes. “I don’t know. I swear there was a sandwich here! I don’t remember eating it, but I’m still really hungry.”

I nearly choked while laughing at their confusion, leaving Brax and Trevor to stare at me while I continued to laugh and choke. Brax stood, likely to get Trevor another beer and a sandwich, but I held up my hand as I pushed back from the table. “You sit.” I cleared my throat. “I’m closer.”

Brax shook his head in amusement, a fond smile on his lips. “And you swear you’re not good at this caretaking thing.”

Trevor giggled. “You know, we haven’t gotten to properly meet Lincoln. You should bring him over sometime.” Then his eyes went wide. “Oh, Daddy! Can we have a small dinner party?”

---