After the way he’d treated her, Julia would be anxious to get away from him and get on with her life. Between caring for her mom and the kids, she had a lot going on. He wanted to help her with all that. “Thanks for the intel.” He quickly ate the roll and washed it down with coffee. Time for action, but she deserved privacy when they talked. As he showered and got dressed, he formulated a plan.
This time, when he came down to the kitchen, he found his mother sipping coffee. She kissed his cheek and pointed in the direction of Julia’s room. “Go sweet talk her. She deserves that.”
“That’s what I plan to do,” he said. There were never any secrets in this house, which no longer bothered him at all. “If she’ll go with me, I want to take her on a hike.”
“Good idea. I’ll put a backpack together for you. Won’t take me a minute. And don’t worry about the kids. Emmy’s got them in the barns, filling feed buckets.”
He nodded his thanks and strode to the room Julia now shared with her mother. She was alone, but not idle. Her suitcase sat in the corner and her bed was stacked with clothing. She straightened when he entered and seemed to steel herself.
“Leaving?” he asked, then immediately wanted to kick himself. What a stupid way to start the most important conversation of his life.
“It’s time. I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me, the kids, and my mom. We’ll never forget it.” It was a polite dismissal that would allow both of them to go their separate ways. Not at all what he wanted.
“Do you have time to go for a hike with me?” he asked.
“Huh?” Her forehead wrinkled. “I really shouldn’t. I have things to do and…” And she was uncomfortable with him after he’d broken her trust.
“Please. It’s important,” he pressed.
She glanced at the piles of clothes. “I guess this can wait. Your sisters did invite us to stay a few more days, but I don’t want to take advantage any more than I already have.”
“No one thinks you’ve taken advantage,” he said. “Come with me. I haven’t shown you the most beautiful place on the ranch. You don’t want to miss that.”
She gave him a reluctant nod and slipped on a pair of hiking boots. When they went through the kitchen, his mother was gone, but a daypack sat on the island. He slung it onto his back and had to stop himself from reaching for Julia’s hand.
“Where to?” she asked as they went out the door.
“This way.” They climbed in silence until they reached the fork in the trail. Last time they’d taken this path, he’d avoided the trail that he and JP used to take together. Now he was ready to face it. In fact, he knew he had to face it if he was going to win Julia back. No more hiding from his feelings. The time had come to embrace them. He took several strides down the trail when he realized Julia wasn’t following.
“I thought…you didn’t want to go that direction.”
“I do. With you.” He did reach for her hand then. After a moment’s hesitation, she slipped hers into his. His heart beat a little faster at the contact. All he wanted to do was hold her. Words first, he reminded himself.
The spot where they were going wasn’t far. When he saw the old sycamore with its branches that stretched over a swimming hole, it was like truly coming home for him. He, his sisters, and JP had spent hours there—swinging on the old rope and jumping off into the water, having campfires on the bank, and talking about everything.
Someone, probably his dad, had obviously been there recently. A new rope hung from the tree and the firepit area had a fresh supply of logs nearby.
“It’s beautiful,” Julia said, taking it all in. He imagined she was photographing it with her mind.
“This is where we hung out as kids, especially me and JP. Lots of summer afternoons were spent right here.”
“That’s why you didn’t bring me here before, isn’t it? Too many memories?”
“Yeah. I’ve been hiding from those memories and anything else that might hurt to remember.”
“Tell me about your brother,” she said as they sat on an old wooden bench, holding hands.
And he did. He poured out stories about the fun they’d had right there; he told her about birthday bashes and the night that he’d talked JP into becoming a SEAL when his brother had been wavering about his future plans. He acknowledged the guilt he’d felt, and how Tara had kicked his ass for even thinking that way.
“Rationally, I knew JP’s death wasn’t my fault,” he said. “But it came right after the death of a kid I used to play soccer with when I was at a base overseas.”
“You started to tell me about him once.” That had been on the night they’d driven to the ranch, the night that he’d first opened up to her.
“Yeah.” Sean pictured his young face. “I felt like I’d caused his death and JPs. Worse than that, I was completely helpless both times. I couldn’t control what happened to them, couldn’t save them.”
“So you locked yourself away in a place where emotions couldn’t get to you.”
He gave a dry chuckle. “That was what I tried to do. And then you came into my life. When Wilson shot you, all the bad came flooding back and got scrambled in my head. I couldn’t face that someone else I love could be taken from me.”