Page 62 of Sean

“You…you regret what happened?” She looked shocked and horrified. “You regret being with me and becoming important to Lucy and Amos? Is that it?”

No. Yes. No…but yes. He’d loved the time that he’d spent with all of them. But if he had to do it all over again, he’d choose to keep his distance, spare them all the pain of ending things now. He should have known better than to think he could open his heart to someone without opening himself up to suffering, too.

“That’s right,” he said firmly. “I should have fulfilled my obligations to Ethan and Owen. Nothing more.”

She stared at him with her mouth dropped open in shock before turning to walk away. Relief washed through him. The confrontation was over. She was ten feet away when she turned around, came back, and got in his face.

“You are the one who kissed me. You are the one who took me on that hike to the cabin.” She jabbed him in the chest. “You convinced me not to run when all my instincts said I should. You…you told me to put my trust in you. And I did. After all that, you’re the one who wants to run away. Because I got shot at, because you lost control of a situation for a second, because you got scared.” She stepped back and blew out a breath. “An hour ago, I would have said that you are the bravest man I know. Why are you being such a coward about us?”

She waited a beat to see if he would respond, but when he stayed silent, she stormed off toward the house. The slam of the door echoed on the still night air and probably woke half the household. He hoped no one would get up to investigate because he had nothing to say for himself.

He was certain that he was right to end their relationship. But there was no victory in that. He’d hurt her, and he hated that even more than he hated the hurt that swamped him. His choice, though, was the best one. And he wouldn’t be changing his mind.

THIRTY-TWO

Julia’s eyes felt full of sand when she woke up the next morning. She squeezed them shut again, thinking that would help. She had a moment of peace, a moment when the fogginess of sleep stayed with her. Then, it all burst, and she remembered why her eyes were gritty and her head ached.

Sean had declared they were over, forever and always, as if the past weeks meant nothing to him. She sat up and saw the used tissues on the bedside table. She’d cried for what felt like hours the previous night after she’d come back inside, waiting for him to come knocking on her door to apologize and admit that he’d made a terrible mistake. But he never came. Apparently, he was standing by his decision to dump her flat when the emotions got too complicated.

Yes, she’d been shot, and it could have been fatal. It was tough to swallow, and she’d struggled the day before with getting her head around that. The one thing she’d relied on, though, was Sean’s support—the look in his eyes when he’d bandaged her wound had seemed to show how deeply he cared for her. Maybe even loved her.

And he’d thrown it all away during that conversation in the night.

It was real, wasn’t it?

She had one moment of hope that she’d just dreamed that he’d broken up with her—but that hope faded quickly. What should have been a wonderful, even romantic moment, under the stars had turned into an absolute nightmare.

And she’d lost her temper, yelling at him and slamming the door, which wasn’t like her. She was always calm Julia, who thought before she reacted, who kept things to herself. But that hadn’t been her during their conversation. She’d called him a coward. Sophie would be proud of her for standing up for herself, not that that was much comfort when the man she loved was pushing her out of his life.

Part of her understood where he was coming from. It was what he’d done before, making himself a loner, cutting himself off so that he wouldn’t have to deal with his emotions. It wasn’t the healthiest of choices, but after the grief he’d experienced from losing his brother, she could kind of understand why he’d chosen to go that way. And after he’d done it once, retreating back into that mindset would feel like the obvious route to take. But she was still pissed at him for retreating to that safe space and abandoning her. Anger had finally dried her hurt tears in the night. Physical and emotional exhaustion had lulled her to sleep in the early morning hours. She was fully awake now and had to face the aftermath of their conversation.

She got out of bed and dressed. When she was almost ready, there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” she said, assuming it would be her mother. She was surprised when the door opened, and Sean walked in.

“Morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” she replied in a frosty tone. She was hurting and angry, but deep down she was still hoping that he was there to talk. Maybe even apologize and admit that he was wrong to break it off with her. The day before had been stressful, so she could understand if he’d lashed out from fear or worry. Or at least, she could understand as long as he apologized and tried to make things right again. She waited, willing him to take back his decision.

“I’ve been thinking about our next move,” he stated.

“And?” Her heart was sinking with each second. He was being so businesslike, so unemotional that she couldn’t read him.

“Wilson’s out of control. That much is clear. I’m concerned that he’ll attack anywhere he can. He failed yesterday, so he might turn his attention back to Helen or Sophie and try to get to them again.”

His focus was completely on the case and everything about him—his tone, his expression—was completely stripped of anything personal.

“I am worried for them,” she managed to say. “But they’ve been fine. They have protection.” Ethan and Owen wouldn’t let anything happen to the women in their lives. She knew that Sean would keep her safe, too, despite what he’d said the night before.

“When someone is desperate, like Wilson is, they become unpredictable,” he said. “It’s time we consulted with the others and come up with a plan that will keep everyone safe. Wilson is capable of anything, and I don’t want to make the mistake of underestimating him.”

“I’d hate to see anything happen to my friends or their men,” she agreed, even while her heart was breaking. How could Sean stand there and appear to feel nothing for her?

“I’ll text them and set up a video call. Dad wants to be on it, too. Meet me downstairs in ten minutes.”

She nodded, unwilling to trust her own voice not to crack and betray the hurt she was feeling. She loved her friends and wanted them to be safe, but where was the man she’d put her faith in first and then given her heart to? He seemed to have disappeared completely and been replaced by this ultra-practical automaton.

Sean was out the door again before she could think of a way to bring up their situation, so she finished getting ready, checked on the kids who were with their grandmother and Emmy, and headed to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Fortunately, no one was around. Tara’s kids were already at school, and she and her mother must be in the barns.

Julia poured a cup, adding more sugar and cream than usual, and went to the dining room where Sean was setting up the call. He didn’t even look up when she walked in. Joe did, though.

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