Page 6 of Sean

“A grocery list,” he said. “I’m not used to feeding kids. They didn’t like my selection of cereal, and I don’t have any toaster pastries, which seems to be a travesty.”

“They are a little picky when it comes to food,” she admitted. “They’ve had so much upheaval that I’ve tried to keep some things the same. Food’s one of them. We’ve stuck to the familiar.”

“Come on into my office. I’ll get a pad of paper and we’ll make a list,” he said, leading the way. “I’ll go to the store lat—get away from there!” he suddenly barked, rushing forward.

“What?” She hustled after him and saw the problem. Amos and Lucy were standing in front of the closet where he stored his guns, fiddling with the lock.

“Give me that key.” His voice was a command. She could imagine him using it on a subordinate in the Navy. It might have been appropriate then, but it brought instant tears to Amos’s eyes. “Where did you get this?” Sean demanded as he took hold of the key and looked between the kids.

“It was in the table by the bed,” Lucy whispered. “We’re sorry. We didn’t know we weren’t supposed to.”

Amos was unable to answer as his sobs began in earnest. She could tell he was frightened and nearly inconsolable. He was so little—big, confusing emotions overwhelmed him, and it was sometimes tough for him to calm down once he’d gotten worked up. She went to him, and he clung to her leg, his tears dampening her pants. “Don’t go away, Aunt Julia. Don’t…go. Please don’t go.” The words came out between sobs.

Lucy wrapped her arms around Julia’s waist so tightly, it felt like the girl would never let her go. They’d been here before, especially in the first weeks after going into hiding. Everything would be fine, and then one or the other would break down. Julia felt a flash of anger at Sean for causing this current scene. Sure, the kids had been in the wrong and that needed to be discussed. But did he have to yell at them? She was on the verge of saying that when Sean crouched down next to Amos.

“Hey, hey, little guy. It’s okay. Nothing to cry about,” Sean spoke slowly and softly, and Amos turned reluctantly toward him. “I’m sorry I yelled. I’m used to having to get loud to get people’s attention. I shouldn’t have done that with you or your sister.” Amos gulped down a sob, and both kids stared at Sean as he continued talking. “I just want you and Lucy to be safe, okay? It’s really important that you don’t get in that closet.”

“Is there something scary in it?” Lucy asked with a glance toward the door.

“Not scary, but dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing. Do you understand?” he directed his question first to Lucy and then to Amos.

“You won’t send Aunt Julia away?” The boy’s bottom lip was still quivering, even though the tears had stopped.

“I would never do that.” Sean’s face was so sincere. Amos must have thought so, too, because the boy gave a little nod and finally seemed to relax.

“Let’s get those faces washed up and go find some sunshine,” Julia said. She took them both to the bathroom to wipe away the tear tracks before going out on the deck with them. In just a few minutes, the kids were running around in the yard, chasing butterflies.

Behind her, she heard the slider open. This time she didn’t jump when Sean silently appeared near her.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “My fault. I forgot that spare key was in the nightstand. I usually use the key I keep on my key ring, so I didn’t even think about the other one.”

“You aren’t used to sharing your space with anyone. I get it.” The anger she’d felt toward him had dissipated when he’d humbled himself in front of the kids.

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t have yelled.” They watched the kids in silence for a moment before he spoke again. “Why was he afraid that I’d send you away? Or that you’d leave them?”

She sighed. Answering that question would delve into a subject she didn’t like discussing…but Sean deserved her response. “My sister, Mira, and Wilson fought a lot, I think. After one of their fights, she went for a drive and got in the accident that killed her. On some level, I guess Amos must associate adults yelling with someone going away and not coming back. All children are afraid of being abandoned, of course, but it’s stronger in those who have lost someone close to them.”

“You lost someone, too,” he surprised her by saying. “I’m sorry you had to experience that. I…I know what it’s like to lose a sibling.” His voice had dropped so low that it almost disappeared into the spring breeze.

She turned to him, trying to read his expression. He’d lost a sibling? “You, too?”

He took a step back, putting distance between them. “I need to get some work done, and then I’ll head for the store. If you think of anything else you need, add it to the list.” He was back in the house before she could form a coherent sentence, but she had the distinct feeling that he’d shared something that he usually kept locked deep inside him.

FOUR

Sean never thought he’d relish the half-hour drive to the nearest town so much. But today, he needed time to himself because the day had been…not chaos, exactly. Just really different from his norm. Having other people in his space was an adjustment after spending the better part of four years alone. Those little humans and their pretty aunt complicated everything.

He’d wanted to go to the store hours ago, but one thing had led to another, and it was close to sunset when he pulled into the parking lot of the local IGA. He grabbed the list from the seat next to him and headed inside. Soon, his cart was full of kid-friendly foods. He picked up his usual staples while he was there and the few things he’d convinced Julia to add to the list for herself.

She was obviously not the high-maintenance type. She seemed unconcerned for herself, but on the kids’ behalf, she was fierce. He smiled to himself as he selected a head of lettuce, remembering the way she’d charged into the kitchen that morning, ready to do battle. He’d had no idea what had been going through her head other than an instinct to fight, but, damn, she’d looked adorable in her PJs.

He gave himself a shake and reached for a bag of oranges. He had no business even thinking that. She was a woman in need of help, and he’d agreed to provide said help. Period. End of story. He’d keep them safe until Wilson was caught. Then, he’d get back to his solitary life—the one that he had carefully created for himself since JP’s death.

As always, he tried hard not to think about JP, not to imagine what his little brother’s life would be like now if he hadn’t died. That kind of thinking only led to misery. That’s why he kept no family photos where he could see them. That was why he hadn’t seen his parents, sisters, or nieces since the funeral. It was easier to be free of reminders when the memories only brought guilt, grief, and anger.

He didn’t need to inflict that on anyone, especially Julia. He couldn’t fathom why he’d nearly told her about JP while they’d stood on the deck in the sunshine…but maybe it had been because he’d sensed that she would understand. They were members of the same horrible club—people who had lost siblings. But the second she’d wanted to hear about JP and talk about feelings, he’d retreated. That wasn’t who Sean was. He was more the bottle-it-up-and-bury-it-deep type.

After double-checking his list, he headed for the checkout lines. This late in the day, the store was virtually empty, except for employees. Two women were working the registers, chatting with each other to pass the time. He wasn’t paying much attention to their conversation until the word kidnapper caught his attention. He tuned in as he put his food on the belt.

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