“Bye-bye, coyote,” Amos said, ending the funeral speeches.
“You may shovel in the dirt now,” Emmy informed him. She seemed to be taking this completely seriously, but he was struggling to do that. Was he the only one? He looked at Julia and found her expression worried, more than it should have been. Was she still concerned about the kids being reminded of their mother’s funeral? From what he could see, that wasn’t happening.
“A funeral is always followed by a snack,” his mother declared. “Let’s go to the house for cookies and milk.”
Julia began to follow all of them, but Emmy waved her back. “We’ve got this.”
Julia’s steps slowed. She was clearly still concerned for her niece and nephew, but they were happily chatting with the other kids. She dropped back and walked with him to where they’d left their vehicles. Without saying a word, she parted from him to climb into the Gator. He drove slowly, following her, and parked outside the largest of the barns.
His hands were dirty from fixing the fence and burying a wild animal, so he headed into the barn and to the sink on the far wall, aware that she’d trailed after him. While he lathered and rinsed, he waited for her to speak, the tension growing. Finally, when his hands were dry, he couldn’t take it anymore. “What’s bothering you?” he asked, keeping his tone gentle.
She sucked in a breath and the words flowed out. “I’m so bad at keeping them safe. I’ve been so focused on Wilson and his subordinates grabbing the kids that I haven’t considered other dangers. Coyotes? How am I supposed to protect them from animals? I don’t have the slightest idea what to do, and if something happens to those beautiful, little people—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said, taking her face in his hands. “Breathe. Just breathe.” She needed to get oxygen in her lungs before she hyperventilated. “The kids are fine, and you are amazing at keeping them safe. You’ve been doing it for weeks. Don’t doubt yourself.”
“I can’t let anything hurt them,” she gasped out. He stroked his thumbs over her cheeks, soothing her.
“What happened today was on me,” he said. “I should have told them not to play outside until I had a chance to teach them about the dangers of a ranch and the outdoors.”
“It’s not just the coyotes. The funeral…I was afraid it would upset them, but I was completely wrong. Maybe they don’t even remember their mom’s funeral. And that’s sad, too. I want them to remember her, but not if it hurts them.”
“They remember her,” he said, “and you’ll keep her memory alive by telling them about her.” That seemed to calm her.
“You’re right. I will.” She gave him a half smile. “There were no pictures of Mira on display in Wilson’s house, but I kept some in my room when I lived there. The kids liked to look at them, especially the ones when we were young.”
“To realize their mom once was their age might have made her feel more real.” He should drop his hands from her face and take a step back, but it felt good to be close to her.
“I love looking at them, too. We were so carefree, traveling with our mom all over the country. Everything was an adventure. I miss those days sometimes, especially lately when everything is such a mess.”
“You’ll get through this,” he said. A light scent wafted from her—something lemony. Maybe her shampoo. There was nothing overdone or artificial about her, which appealed to him. She was who she presented herself to be. No subterfuge.
“I’m starting to think I will—thanks to you. It means so much that I’m not in this alone anymore. I can’t tell you…” Her voice trailed off as their eyes locked. How long had it been since he’d kissed a woman? Years. Since just after JP’s death when he’d still had a girlfriend. They’d broken up, and he hadn’t dated since, hadn’t wanted the company of others, hadn’t wanted to feel anything too deeply.
He still didn’t, but he found himself leaning closer to Julia, drawn to her for reasons he couldn’t explain, until their lips met in a soft kiss.
It was brief, just the faintest brush of their mouths together, but it was enough to awaken something he’d managed to keep buried. The sudden tension in his stomach, the blast of heat in his chest, all from the few seconds of connection with this beautiful force of nature who he’d sworn to protect. Part of him wanted to pull her tight against him and run his hands over her. The other half of him knew he had to step back.
He didn’t want entanglements, didn’t want to care. Caring only led to heartache, and he’d had enough of that for a lifetime. And she didn’t need the complication either. He eased away from her until there was a foot of space between them.
She looked a little dazed, with her eyes wide and her pretty lips parted in shock. What the hell had he just done? With an effort, he restored the walls he’d built around himself.
“We should go check on the kids,” he said, his voice gruff.
She blinked. “I imagine they’re fine. They like milk and cookies as much as the next kid.”
Milk and cookies? Yeah, his mother had said that when they were down by the creek. Damn, he should have been paying more attention. “We better get inside,” he said, real urgency in his tone now. He stepped around her, resisting the urge to grab her hand.
“Whoa, where’s the fire?” she asked as she fell in step next to him.
“Giving kids milk and cookies is my mother’s code for interrogation.” He remembered that well from his own childhood. If Kelly Miller wanted information, she baked chocolate chip cookies. “She’s probably pumping Lucy and Amos for intel.”
“Oh.” Julia picked up her pace. “Amos will spill everything for homemade cookies.”
Sean felt her slant him a glance as they hustled toward the house. Was she wondering about their kiss? Probably. He just hoped she didn’t ask him about it because he’d have to tell her that there could be nothing between them.
It had been just a kiss. Nothing more.
NINE