Page 88 of Devoured By You

He wrenched his shoulder up, dislodging me. “I can fucking do it. I don’t need your goddamn help. I don’t need you. Fuck off back to England and leave me alone.”

My heart dried up in my chest. I pressed a hand over it, pushing inward as if I were giving myself CPR.

“I don’t want to go. I love you.”

I should have told him before now, but the timing had never felt right. I’d wanted it to be perfect. Guess I fucked up on that score.

His face twisted, but not in pain. In contempt.

“Well, I don’t love you. I never did. We barely know each other. What I thought might be love was lust. Nothing more. And it’s gone. I always knew I wasn’t the kind of man to settle down, and being around you twenty-four seven these last few weeks has proved that. So pack up your things and leave. We’re done.”

He somehow got to his feet with no help from me. Not that I’d have been capable of helping him. I was too busy trying to hold the shattered pieces of myself together. He hobbled into the house and slammed the door. My legs went from underneath me. I grabbed onto a chair just in time and sank into it.

In the space of an hour, my whole life had crumbled. He didn’t love me. He never had. All this time, I’d been fooling myself, putting his bad moods down to difficulty in coming to terms with the loss of a limb. Instead, it’d been having me around that had sent his moods spiraling.

They said the truth hurt.

The truth didn’t hurt. It annihilated.

Chapter 31

Blaize

An unwelcome visitor is worse

than losing my leg.

Two days ago, the woman I loved had left, and my world had gone dark. I doubted I’d ever see light again.

Despite the constant ache in my chest that far outweighed the discomfort in my leg, I’d do the same thing again and again. And again. Even if every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing the image of Jill’s face crumpling when I’d lied and told her I’d never loved her. At least I’d been convincing. If she’d had any idea that I was slowly dying inside, she’d have given up everything to stay with me, and I couldn’t allow her to do that. She’d get over me soon enough, move on with her life, and steer her career back on track. Which she wouldn’t be able to do as long as she was associated with me.

Call it an atonement for what had happened on Serenity and my part

I’d done some good, at least. After watching Jill climb into a taxi, taking my heart with her, I’d called the CEOs of every online bookstore and made it clear that if they didn’t clean house and remove one hundred percent of those troll reviews, I’d make it my business to be a gigantic thorn in their sides. All of them had promised to look into it with immediate effect, and this morning, those reviews were all but gone.

The TikTok thing was trickier. I’d hired one of the best hackers in the business to wipe those videos from existence, and any more that sprung up until this shit storm abated. Yes, it was illegal, but if anyone called me on it, I’d chuck a dime at them and tell them to call someone who gave a fuck.

So far, he hadn’t managed to take it down, and those videos kept on ticking up and up, the comments so vile they made my stomach turn. The mob mentality was testament to this fucked-up world we lived in. Jill’s only “crime” was falling in love with me.

My crimes were far worse.

I’d also had my publicist leak a story about Jill breaking up with me and blast it across as many media outlets as possible. That way, there was a chance this shit would calm down sooner rather than later and Jill could put it all behind her.

Maybe one day, there’d be a way back for us. Not that I’d expect her to take me back after the way I’d behaved, but the dream made it easier to fall asleep at night.

The front gates buzzed. I ignored it. Renata would answer and get rid of whoever it was. I wasn’t in the mood to see people.

I wasn’t in the mood for anything. Losing Jill, even if it had been of my doing, had wiped out the progress I’d made. I didn’t care about my permanent prosthetic, or learning to walk without crutches or sticks, or seeing the back of that fucking wheelchair once and for all. I couldn’t even gather the enthusiasm to return to work, despite my earlier determination. Dad was handling it all anyway. He didn’t need me fucking up the progress he was making with the authorities and the public image of my cruising business.

Better to fade into the background and let him assume control. I wasn’t in a fit state to be CEO of a rowing-boat business, let alone a multibillion-dollar cruise ship industry.

The door to my office burst open and Aspen marched in, her purple hair whipping around her and her eyes nailing me like two balls of fire.

“Who let you in?” I growled.

“Renata.” She planted her hands on her hips and loomed over my desk. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

Goddamn Renata. I’d told her I didn’t want to see anyone. I should have added especially Aspen. It was obvious why she was here. Either she’d called Jill or the other way around. Not that it mattered who called whom.

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