Page 13 of Created in Chaos

“Because I can’t fuck you like I need to. I can’t be inside you, shoving myself so deep, you’ll beg me to stop because you’re afraid you’ll never get me out of you.”

I swallow thickly. I’m already afraid he’s sunk his claws too deeply into me, yet what frightens me more than my unhealthy obsession of wanting him is thinking about if he doesn’t.

“I told you that you can’t do that.” I muster up a response to his threat since I can’t seem to come up with a denial about what he wants to do to me.

“I can and I will. Will you pretend to hate me for it, lamb? Will you fight me when I come to you, smelling of death and needing to prove I got to them before they could hurt you again?” His words are spoken so softly, it’s almost hard to believe that he’s talking about killing someone. I don’t doubt the truth in his words, but it’s hard to wrap my head around the situation. There’s a big part of me that wants whoever did this to me to pay, but then I feel guilty for wanting that and what it really means.

Still, I answer his question. “No, I won’t fight with you.”

“Not even when I need to touch you after?”

“No,” I whisper, then I feel a shift of acceptance inside me. By allowing him this confession, I’m admitting that I’m an accessory and giving him power over me, but I don’t regret it. I have to acknowledge that I’ll be just as responsible for the person’s death as Lucian if it actually comes to that. Have they already changed me, or have I been this person all along?

I feel Lucian’s smile curl against the side of my face, but I choose to ignore it for my own sanity. “And here I thought I wanted you to say yes.” He slides his big palm down my back and cups my butt with both hands to pull me forward ever so gently, yet the hardness beneath me is anything but yielding. “It seems I like it just as much when you give me what I want, lamb.”

“Don’t worry, the newness will wear off, plus I like being difficult.”

He laughs freely, and it feels like a win for some reason.

NOX

“Do I really need to wear this?” Nova grumbles dejectedly.

“You won’t be allowed into the chamber without it,” I remind her.

“But why? It’s dumb.”

It’s not like her to be petulant. “They say it’s for anonymity or some shit, but mostly, it’s because these old assholes like to cling to tradition. If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to.”

“She’s going,” Lucian pipes up.

“Only because I want to,” Nova retorts. These two could argue over the color of the sky, but I’ve never seen my brother more content. That could have something to do with the hickey on the side of his neck too though. I haven’t gotten a chance to ask him what they got up to this afternoon while I was out. “The fabric is so heavy, I bet it’s hot as heck under that thing.”

“It won’t be hot where we’re going.” Lucian rises to get his own robe off the chaise.

“What’s really bothering you?” I question before this devolves into a real battle of wills.

“What if I don’t want to join your cult?” She plants a hand on her curvy hip.

“Too late, you’re already indoctrinated, and we have to sacrifice your virginity to my cock,” Lucian sneers with way too much enjoyment.

Nova flips him off without even looking at him, then sets her doe eyes on me, asking for help.

“It’s not a cult,” I defend.

“Yes, it is, but they like to think of it as a secret society, makes the old pricks feel important.”

“You’re not helping,” I tell Lucian as he picks up his robe.

“Do I ever?”

“No,” Nova and I say at the same time. Our eyes connect, and she gives me a sweet smile. The thought of her virginity filters through my mind unbidden. At least I know Lucian didn’t take it without me. I think I would strangle him if he did. I glance past Nova to my brother, and a silent exchange happens between us.

We need to talk.

Later, he replies.

“What if I freak out?” Nova questions softly, looking down at a spare robe we had to dig out of the closet for her.

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