Page 77 of What Happened Last Night

“Traitor,” Mack snapped at his brother.

“Knock it off, Mack!” Jay looked miserable as well as angry for the first time. “We were just supposed to razz him, not starve him! This is stupid! Will is cool!”

“What the fuck, Jay?” This was Tanner. “You’re taking his side?”

Jay stood up. “The golf game was your thing, Mack. The small tent and the fishing were your thing, Tanner. Will beat you at golf, he slept in your tent, and he caught fish. Hiking is my thing, and I’m done.” He turned to me. “We don’t know how to clean fish, man. I’ve never done it. My hiking trips are usually catered. We all ate sandwiches on the boat.”

I took a bite of my sandwich. “I knew it,” I said.

Tanner stood up. “We had him on the ropes!” he said to Jay. “You ruined it!”

“Dude, he caught two fish!” Jay pointed at the dead fish on the ground. “We don’t even know where the fuck he went! Just admit you’re beaten, Tanner! This guy should date Luna. In my opinion, he should marry her.” Jay turned to me. “Please marry Luna.”

I shrugged and took another bite. I was, in fact, hoping to marry Luna, if she was agreeable. But I wasn’t going to tell her brothers that.

Mack stood up, too, so all three brothers were leaning in, shouting at each other. “Why don’t you marry him yourself if you like him so much?” Mack said to Jay. “You like him better than you like your own blood.”

“Because you’re both assholes!” Jay shouted back. “I don’t even want to be related to you right now! Luna was right when she moved to Portland to get away from us! We suck!”

“We don’t suck!” Tanner shouted back. He pointed at me. “He’s coming between us! We’ve always been a team until he came along.”

I took the last bite of my sandwich and swigged some water. I was ravenous.

“I don’t want to be on your stupid team,” Jay shouted. “I’m taking Will back to the trailhead.”

“The hell you are,” Mack said. “We still have three days to go.”

Jay opened his mouth to say something, but Tanner grabbed him and put a palm over his mouth. I narrowed my eyes.

“Get off me!” Jay shouted, and then he and Tanner were on the ground, wrestling. Mack jumped in. I considered helping Jay out, but he seemed to have it under control. He obviously had experience wrestling his brothers. He kneed Mack in the stomach, making him gag, then elbowed Tanner in the throat before rolling away. “Assholes,” he muttered.

“One more night,” I said.

Tanner rubbed his throat, and Mack rubbed his stomach.

I looked at the sky. “By my guess, it’s afternoon. It’s also going to rain again. The trailhead is at least a six-hour hike away. I think we should set up camp, stay tonight, and head down in the morning. What do you think, Jay?”

Jay brushed the dirt from his pants. “That sounds good,” he said. “I know a good spot. I have a six pack in my bag. It’s warm, but we can put it in the stream.”

I picked up my backpack. “Another night sleeping in a Ziploc bag while subsisting on warm beer and prison rations. You McQueens know how to have a good time.”

“We’re not that bad,” Tanner mumbled, brushing the dirt off as he stood up. “We’re usually fun. We were just trying to piss you off.”

I nodded. “Well, you succeeded. I’m miserable, bugs are biting me through my clothes, and I can’t get the smell of dead fish out of my nose. I would give anything to sleep in an actual bed. I even miss my email. You win.”

“Shut up, man,” Mack said, but there was no bite in it. “I have beer in my bag, too. And Pringles.”

“I have protein bars,” Tanner added.

“I have more sandwiches,” Jay said.

“Good. I have food in my pack, too,” I said. “I’d like to call Luna, but I think I’ll wait.”

They all looked at me. “You can’t call Luna,” Tanner pointed out. “You left your cell phone.”

“I left one of my cell phones,” I corrected him. “I packed a backup in the pocket of my backpack. I used an app connected to GPS to find a nearby fishing site, then bought two fish off some of the guys fishing there. You don’t think I actually know how to fish, do you?”

Mack sighed. “I really want to kick your ass.”

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