Page 27 of Voyeur

“You’re still trying to get out there, right?” Kathleen asked.

“Not exactly.”

“Honor, you’ve been out for months now. You need to go on a date with a woman.”

“I know. I will,” she declared. “I just haven’t found one I’m interested in yet.”

“Will you let me set you up already? I know someone you’d like. And even if nothing happens, I know you two will hit it off. She’s gay and single, but I promise, that’s not the only reason I want to set you two up. She’s also a little outgoing, which I think you need, but not too much so you’d be put off by it. She’s been out for a few years, so she knows what you’re going through, but she hasn’t always been out, if you know what I mean. So, she can relate to the newness of being out. She’s also very funny and works in environmental law, so she cares about the important stuff. I know you said you don’t think you want kids, and she doesn’t, either, so that’s a plus. She also doesn’t really care if she gets married. She just wants to be in a relationship, you know?”

Kathleen was the first person at work that Honor had come out to, and she hadn’t been incessantly trying to set Honor up, but she had mentioned a few women she knew. This was the newest one out of the three that Honor could remember, and Kathleen sure knew a lot of queer people for a supposedly straight woman who had been married to her husband for fifteen years.

“Okay… It’s my sister-in-law,” Kathleen added. “I should come out and say that now. But she’s great, Honor. You’d like her. I really think so.”

Honor so wanted to ask if this sister-in-law would fuck her over a desk, on a futon, and give her exactly what she never knew she wanted and needed in the bedroom, but she resisted. She did work with Kathleen, and that would be unprofessional, even if Kathleen was also one of Honor’s only real friends.

“I don’t know. That could get weird. What if it doesn’t go well? Wouldn’t that be awkward?”

“But what if it did go well?” Kathleen smiled at her. “She’s a good person. And she isn’t hung up on her ex or living with someone she used to date or anything like that, either. Her last real relationship was two years ago. And it ended amicably, but she’s made sure to tell me that they’re not weirdly close friends how some lesbians are with their exes, because she said that can be a turn-off for someone.”

“Good for her?” Honor asked rather than said just as three more people walked into the room. “Can I say no for now, and if I change my mind later, I’ll let you know?”

“Of course. Do you want to grab a drink later, though? We can go through that app you downloaded again and either laugh at some of the funny bios or actually hook you up with someone.”

“Um…” Honor looked up at the door that the director of the charity just walked through. “I’ll get back to you. I didn’t sleep well, remember?”

Kathleen didn’t need to know that the exhibit was going on all week and that Honor hadn’t decided whether she would go again.

“Maybe tomorrow, then,” Kathleen offered.

Honor didn’t say anything in response to that, though. She’d told herself repeatedly while getting ready for work that morning that she wouldn’t return; that what she’d done and let Silver do to her had been a mistake. Her first time with a woman was supposed to be with someone she was dating, maybe even in love with already. It should’ve been slow and romantic. They should’ve woken in each other’s arms to have coffee together and maybe breakfast. They were supposed to touch each other in the kitchen and laugh about something silly. Then, they were supposed to go back to bed and do it all over again until they were too sore to move and too tired to do anything but wrap themselves up in each other and fall asleep.

That had not been Honor’s first time with a woman. Her first time with a guy had been with a boy, and it had been pretty bad. She’d been so looking forward to being with a woman, and she’d ruined it for herself by letting lust get in the way.

As she went over the numbers for their most recent fundraising drive and talked about the grant she was applying for to get them more money, she couldn’t stop thinking about Silver and last night. And by the time her meeting was over, Honor had come to realize that while it hadn’t been what she’d thought it would be – her first time with a woman – it might have been better. She’d had no idea she had any of this in her. Even the movies she’d bought to watch while she was masturbating were plain, vanilla porn, with two women touching one another and nothing kinky. Honor didn’t even have a movie with three or more women or any toys. Now, she was going to sex art shows to watch people fuck, and then getting fucked in the office with all those people outside.

She squeezed her thighs together as she sat behind her desk and tried to focus on work. She couldn’t stop thinking about how she was still sore because, at one point, Silver had had at least three fingers inside her and hadn’t been gentle. Honor had wanted every second of it, though, and Silver had known that. She’d also tasted almost sweet, and Honor licked her lips at the memory of licking up Silver’s arousal and wanting more.

“You wanted to see me?” Alec, from their IT department of one person, came into her office.

“Oh, yeah. I was wondering if we had any laptops around that I could use. I’ve been using my personal one since I started here, but I’d like to get a company one, if I can; for security purposes. I’ve been dealing with bigger and bigger donors recently, and there’s some confidential information in those contracts and donations.”

“Sure. I think I have something. It might be old, but I can add some extra firepower to it.” Alec smiled at her. “For you – anything. Right?”

“Sorry?”

“Uh… I just meant whatever you need. You’re the reason the lights stay on in this place.”

“Me?”

“You bring in the money. The money keeps the lights on.”

“Oh, I don’t bring in the money by myself. We have two other people on the team.”

“Yeah, but you’re in charge, and you’re really good at it.”

“Thanks, Alec.” Honor looked away for a moment. “So, you can get me one?”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll have something for you by the end of the day unless we don’t have what I need. Then, it’ll be tomorrow unless you want to pick it up tonight. Assuming I don’t have what we need, I mean.”

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