Page 15 of Voyeur

“I did. And I don’t care. I never have. What’s the point in being embarrassed or ashamed of something I enjoy?”

“People don’t just talk about it.”

“I know. And maybe they should,” Silver argued. “Sex is a part of life. It’s how we make life sometimes, too, but focusing on the art of it, the beauty and enjoyment of it, frees us all from the doldrums of it.”

“The doldrums?” Honor asked with a smile, and Silver kissed Honor’s wrist once more before she lowered their still-joined hands.

“Yes, the doldrums. I have an expansive vocabulary there, Honor. Or did you assume I’m so uneducated–”

“What? No, I–”

Silver laughed and said, “Relax.”

“I don’t know anything about you. I wasn’t trying to–”

“I know.” Silver looked around and noticed a bed that had nothing on the mattress. “Sit with me?”

“Oh. I should go. The show’s over, and I was only in here to get my hat.”

“One that doesn’t exist? Or, at least, it only exists in your house, where, I’m guessing, you pulled it out earlier, looked at it, and decided to be a little braver tonight. Am I right?”

“How did you know that?”

“Just a good guess,” she replied and pulled Honor over to the bed. “We’ll put the new bedding on tomorrow before the show. It’s clean.”

When Silver sat down, Honor sat next to her. Silver then dropped her hand, sensing Honor might need a little less touching for now, hoping she’d want more later.

“So, back to the doldrums,” she continued. “You know how sometimes married couples talk about sex as if it’s something they have to do, not something they want to do?”

“Yes.”

“Doldrums.” Silver shrugged. “Nothing wrong with having sex to maintain a relationship, even when you might not be completely in the mood – it happens to everyone at some point in their lives – but sex doesn’t just have to be that.”

“I feel like I’ve been there all my life,” Honor shared.

Silver wanted to lean into that statement because she could recognize that it was important, but she also wanted to see if Honor would volunteer more on her own.

“I’ve had the doldrums,” Honor added, looking around the room. “This wasn’t that.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Silver laughed a little. “Is that why you came? Boring relationship sex?”

“No, I’m not in a relationship,” Honor answered quickly.

Silver smiled at her and said, “No?”

“No. I can’t believe I’m telling you this because I don’t even know you, but I just came out.”

“Just?”

“About four months ago to my parents, and about a month ago at work, but only to a few people I’m close with there because the rest of them don’t need to know.”

“I see. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking? And I’m not judging; just curious. For… reasons.”

“I just turned thirty.”

“Thirty? You look twenty-five, at most.”

“I get that a lot. But no, I’m thirty years old, and I just came out to my family and a few friends.”

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