Page 78 of Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

"All of your firsts. They're all mine."

"That's not fair. What do I get?"

My eyes fix on her mouth as she eats a piece of cold meat with cheese. Her tongue swipes across her bottom lip. Her eyes are still watery from crying. "You have what no one else will."

Her other hand begins to pull on the blades of grass, ripping them out next to Alicia's grave. I lean close, sliding a piece of meat inside my mouth. "It's not your time, my love. I have things I want to do for you. Places I want to take you. If it comes to that, I'll bury myself with you and die a happy man." My lips are inches from hers, my cock screaming in agony, wanting to take her somewhere, but I can't shake the feeling I have inside when I look at her. The expression on her face tells me what all the words in the dictionary couldn't. That she loves me, but she's afraid.

"What are you afraid of?" I ask. I break off a rose from its stem and trace it on the smooth lines of her cheekbones. "Tell me so I can take it away."

She smiles in the way she did when we first met. Gone is the Veronica with fire on her tongue. I like both versions of her, but when we have these moments, moments like the first one we had four years ago, I like this version of her. It's private in that way. Lovers have secrets only the two of them share. A look or a smile.

"You think you can just save me, don't you?"

"I do."

It isn't a lie but a promise. No one will touch her ever again.

"I'm afraid they will take away the one moment I had with you. The one where you told me you loved me for the first time."

"You're the only one that could make me feel, and no one can take that from you. You chose Veronica."

Tears slide down her cheeks. "I did."

"Prey choose," I whisper. She nods. "Don't cry." I lean in and lick her tears. She wraps her arms around me, and we stay sitting on my cousin's grave, and the two sentences she wrote me on a simple piece of paper make more sense than anything ever could. Every language is silent. Every prayer is heard. "Every language is silent. Every prayer is heard," I repeat out loud. "I hear you calling for me, my love. I hear it now." Her sobs rip through her, and then I hear it. Her whisper.

"I love you."

"Then, stay with me. It's not your time to go yet. I need you."

I never thought I would fall in love, but I knew I did that night. Veronica is my first love and my last.

I feel it while looking at Alicia's grave as Veronica waits for me at the cemetery gates. I swear I can feel her energy. Her words were written in letters to both of us, full of love for her friend, completing a promise she never uttered. Death is a mystery. But there is a way to communicate between the dead and the living. They say math is the universal language to solve everything. Books are written about religion to maintain morals and instill faith. But love is and always will be the universal language. My cousin found and risked her life for the one she loved because, without it, you're dead anyway. Love is universal. It is said in prayer because love is all we need and want. Love is what we kill for. Every language is silent because love is all that needs to exist.

I kiss the palm of my hand and place it on her grave. "I'll take care of her now. I promise. I love you, Alicia. Thank you for bringing me happiness." I look over at her boyfriend Chase's grave. "You take care of her now." I look up, and a crow lands on his grave. Its shiny feathers and black beak make a cawing sound.

* * *

"Are you sure we can't stay?"

"There is no way to take a shit or use the shower. I'm remodeling all the bathrooms."

"You didn't have to."

I place the fourth suitcase inside the Rolls trunk and press the button so the door can close automatically. I reply, "I did."

"The other house is quieter, and you can study for your finals in peace and no bathtubs."

I made sure all my homes were remodeled with showers and threw out every belt buckle I owned.

She smiles, but I don't miss the whimsical eye she gives when she passes the garage that houses the blacked-out Bentley she practiced on that night. She passed the written driver's exam, and she was able to get her learner's permit last week. I slide my cell phone out and dial my driver. She glances at me and sighs, walking toward the Rolls Royce.

"Take the Bentley to my estate, please," I say into the phone, watching her eyes widen as I open the door, so she can slide in the passenger seat.

There is nothing I don't notice when it comes to her. She likes sex before bed and in the morning when she wakes up. Hard and fast at night, full of chains and an occasional anal. Soft and slow in the morning after I eat her pussy.

She's perfect.

Sometimes it's what scares the shit out of me the most. How perfect she is. There are two sides to her, and I can't figure out which side I like better. Like a precious coin, you can flip over and over and can't decide, so you admire both sides as much as possible.

---