Page 4 of Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

I think it was Dorian Black, from the sound of his voice. I remember him from the day we went to a gala, and my father said he went to Kenyan with the older Riordan. The others I don't know, but I can still hear their crude statements.

"––That is so disgusting––"

"––They could have used the shower. What a disgusting whore––"

"––she ruined the sheets on the bed––"

I don't have my period, but it's not like I'm going to scream and tell them I was a virgin. What good would that do? How could a night that was supposed to be unforgettable in a good way turn out to be so wrong in the worst way? Can it get any worse?

I spoke too soon because all of a sudden, they begin chanting, “Whore! Whore! Whore!”

I look up at Alaric and expect him to defend me or kick everyone out, but I'm met with an evil smirk.

"Alaric?" I croak with dread and panic bubbling inside me. He looks over at the group of people, not doing anything to stop them from forming a circle around me as I stand, taunting me as I try to wipe the blood away but fail miserably.

"Stop it!" I scream.

But they don't stop the incantation. The guys and girls by the door and in the hallway begin to chant in tandem. "Whore! Whore! Whore!

Alaric bends down with a malicious smile plastered on his face, picks up my white thong and skirt, and throws it in my face. I flinch when it hits my mouth, falling to the floor at my feet. I bend to pick it up slide them on and grab my shoes to run the fuck out of here. I straighten when the sounds of them chanting begin to subside, but then I hear Alaric when he says, "She was a lousy fuck. All she did was lie there on her back." His hard gaze lands on mine, but I can't clearly see his face because the tears won't stop falling. And his next words slice me deeper than anything ever could, scarring me forever. "It's safe to say that you are the worst fuck I have ever had. Now I have to clean myself by scrubbing my skin from your nasty period blood, you filthy whore." He pauses. "You're so disgusting."

Flailing my arm while holding my shoes with the other, I scramble to leave the bedroom, not caring if my legs are sticky and full of blood.

I run down the stairs, the sobs rising from my throat without restraint. My hair is plastered to my face from the wetness of my sweat and tears. The smell of sex lingers on my skin. I don't look for Alicia or anyone as I run outside, almost face-planting on the sidewalk, falling and scraping my knees and making a hole in my socks. I finally find my footing and run away from the chanting of the word, Whore, and the sound of disgust in Alaric’s voice.

I make it home, ignoring every message from Alicia on the way. I took the public bus and sat in the back, ignoring the weird glances cast my way and the embarrassment of having blood smeared on my thighs. It was the first time I met Dorothy. The only person that helped me. She worked in a small restaurant on the edge of town and was on her way to work. She handed me a pack of tissues. I was relieved she didn't ask questions about the blood or the holes in my socks. All she told me was that she lived on the outskirts of Kenyan, and if I wanted a cup of coffee, I could visit her anytime during the night shift at the restaurant to talk. She hated taking the bus, but her license was suspended. My mother never talked to me. That is what I saw in Dorothy even for a moment, a mother figure.

I shut the front door when I make it home and turn, trying to make my way down the stairs to my room, but I pause when I hear my father's irritated voice. "I've been waiting for you, Veronica." I was wrong if I thought this was the worst night of my existence. It was going to get worse. A lot worse. "I got a call tonight," he says in a harsh tone. His hard eyes slide down my tattered clothes until he stops where there's dried blood stained on my skirt. I knew someone from the Order would call him eventually after what happened. There was no way anyone there wouldn't.

"I'm s–"

He backhands me across the face, whipping my head back. Pain radiates on the side of my skull, dulling the burning sensation between my legs.

For the rest of the night, I pray and pay for my sins. I didn't know what he meant when he said the word sin, but I quickly found out, and it’s where my nightmares begin. What happened at the frat party was child’s play compared to this. Tonight taught me a valuable lesson. I learned how quickly you could yearn for something or someone, only to loathe it and wish it never happened the next.

Which is why I promise myself never to fall in love again.

CHAPTER 1

Veronica

PRESENT DAY

"Why are you sitting out here alone?" I look up to see Jess standing by my boots.

Looking around at the headstones, I can see why sitting out here by myself on a grave would seem a little odd, but nothing about this place is normal.

My eyes finally rest on her concerned expression, not wanting to tell her why I’m here. "What are you doing walking alone in the cemetery without your future hubby? I thought you would be busy making babies," I tease. She shifts nervously on her feet and all that tells me is that she isn't alone. Reid is probably with her, and she convinced him to let her walk over here.

"I worry about you. I keep thinking about what you said that day in my dorm room."

I wipe crumbs of dirt and leaves off my wool plaid skirt when I move to get up. That was three weeks ago when the cat was out of the bag with Reid, and he finally revealed himself. I shouldn't have said anything. My problems are not anyone else's but my own. And besides, no one can do shit about it. My fate is sealed, stamped, and delivered to the highest bidder who my father deems suitable with the approval of the Order. A nightmare I have to live with for the rest of my life.

I give her a dry smile and do what I do best, lie. "I'll be fine, Jess. It's just an arranged marriage." I look at the gate, not wanting her to notice the headstone I am leaning against and give more of myself away. "You should go. He's overprotective of you, as he should be." She looks over, I follow her line of sight, and I see Reid waiting by the pillar, glaring at me. "He doesn't like me."

He never did.

She waves, and I notice his eyes soften for a fraction when they land on her. "He'll come around."

---