Page 33 of Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

"I miss you…I miss our talks on the phone at night when I tell you everything. I miss your voice and laugh because it was the best sound." I sit cross-legged, not caring that anyone thinks I'm crazy for talking to my dead best friend. I turn my head because that feeling creeps up my neck again like I'm being watched, but no one is there, except the lady with the bucket selling different types of flowers.

Facing Alicia's grave, I sniff. "Guess what? I have an internship, and it's with your cousin, out of all people. I think he planned it to be that way, and to be honest, I'm scared," I choke out. "Every time I'm around him, it gets worse. It's like he's some curse or something, and I need saving. I've had thoughts of running away on my own. I'm saving––"

"Saving for what?" I freeze when I hear Reid's voice. I close my eyes, hoping he didn't hear everything I said.

I look up and meet his dark stare. "Nothing."

He grins, but his eyes tell me I'm full of shit. His hand slides into his pocket and pulls out a thin chain with a silver locket in the shape of a heart holding it out to me. "I think she would have wanted you to have this. I'll admit, I didn't want to give it to you because I wanted everything that was hers to stay within the family."

I squint from the sun's glare as the trees sway with the breeze. "You don't have to give it to me."

He extends his hand, and the locket swings back and forth. "I think you were meant to have this, and she didn't get the chance to give it to you. If anything, it belongs to you."

I take it from him with a smile, feeling the connection from something that belonged to her that she wanted me to have. "Thank you. It means a lot."

He looks away and is about to turn but pauses, his shoulders tensing from the effort. "Whatever you are planning to do, don't do it."

Gripping the locket in the palm of my hand, I give him a tight smile. "I don't know what you mean."

He slides his fingers through his dark hair, like it takes every effort inside him to say what he needs to say. This is the most we have spoken that hasn’t included a middle finger or a snarky comment. "She wouldn't want anything to happen to you, Veronica."

I let out a slow breath because I didn't want anything to happen to Alicia and I know she wouldn't want me to suffer the same fate. But I blame myself for not asking Reid for help when I should have told him what she was planning and didn't. He could have saved her.

"I'm sorry." I look at the headstone with her name on it in gold lettering. “It should have been me in there and not her." A tear escapes the corner of my eye, and needles prick my nose. "It should have been me," I whisper.

He pinches his brows. "It's not your fault, Veronica. You didn't kill her. They did."

He means the assholes in the Order that voted for her to be hunted down like an animal and killed along with her boyfriend. Assholes like Charles Devlin who makes it his mission to rip everything I love away from me.

I shake my head with tears running down my cheeks because he doesn't know the truth. It was because of me he voted. "It is my fault, Reid." I sniff, wiping my face. "I should have never been friends with her."

"Why?"

I close my eyes, and my chest tightens. "Because people like me are not supposed to have friends like her." I stand, wiping my hands on the back of my leggings. "I'm no good, Reid. I'm nothing but a worthless bitch that doesn't deserve anything, and I think you were right."

"About what? What are you saying, Veronica? You talk in riddles sometimes, and it makes you sound––"

"Crazy." I finish for him.

"Yeah," he agrees, nodding his head. "It makes you sound crazy." He raises his hand frustratingly, making a fist. "But then there are times where there is something…something about you that is different, like it's all an act or maybe you were like that all along."

He doesn't know and he isn't supposed to know anything about me or what I do and why. "Do you know why I'm interning at Riodrick and Riordan with your cousin? Is this some sick joke?"

"I didn't know. We don't keep tabs on each other with what we do or with who unless it's important to the family business or a threat. I don't believe you are a threat, and for the reason behind you completing the internship there..." he shrugs, "it could be simple coincidence, or…he wants you there for whatever reason."

I roll my eyes dramatically. "Yeah, to finish me off before I graduate. It's not like I'm after him. I have to marry a psychotic asshole before I graduate."

"Who said Dorian Black was the psycho? We both know who is." He leans forward and says softly, "You're not married to him yet, Veronica. You're still game." He arches his neck, covers his mouth with the palm of his hand, and continues, "There is no key to Alaric, Veronica, but you are the door he needs to open."

What does he mean? I don't get the chance to ask because he walks away. All that I got was that I'm still game. It means no one is required to be faithful until the marriage takes place because it was voted by the Order, including me. But there is no end point behind an infinite game, just winners and losers.

CHAPTER 13

Alaric

"He is expecting you, Mr. Riodrick," my grandfather's secretary says, standing in the doorway to my grandfather's private offices. I place the magazine I was flipping through on the table and get up.

I don't correct her about using my grandfather's last name and not my father's because I'm part of him too, and so is Reid, and so was Alicia, but he refuses to talk about her. She was the spitting image of my mother, unlike my aunt, who was her opposite, with dark hair and eyes. Alicia and I were the only ones that inherited my grandfather's gray eyes.

---