Page 20 of Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

"The night they all ridiculed you at the party?" My head whips forward, and I snap my fingers, watching with glee as she jolts like she is zapped in her chair. "You're really on to something there, doc."

"What am I on?"

"Some good shit. You need to give me some."

"What do you want me to give you?"

"Something to sleep like happy pills. My mother is on them all the time. You should see her. She's perfect."

I need the pills to sleep because I'm tired, not from the night shifts with Dorothy at the restaurant, but from not being able to get actual sleep when I do come home. Nothing has helped. Not tea or reading. Nothing.

I watch her tear the paper off the prescription pad after she writes something on it, so I can give it to the front desk before I leave. She probably gave me tranquilizers, and I need them.

She hands me the script and asks, “Are you sleeping at all?”

“Sometimes. It’s why I want the pills.”

“I suggest relaxation and massages. A spa to relieve anxiety and thoughts that can cause you not to sleep. I will make a note and send a treatment plan. The sleeping pills will help, but I need you to try to curve your actions and avoid what triggers them.”

“You want me to avoid being around men, so I don’t fuck.”

She gives me a pointed look, and I raise my arms and stretch like a cat waking up from a nap. “Alright, doc. I’ll avoid all the triggers but can’t make any promises.” I sigh. “I have to get married soon you know.”

“Do you know to who?”

I grin. “Are you asking if I know who will put their semen inside me? The one they call a sinner. Whore. The answer is no, Dr. Wick. I don’t know who will make me bleed in sacrifice.”

A glimmer of sadness crosses her features for a second, and then it’s gone. Her mask is back in place, and I go for the kill because…why not. She doesn’t care. She is getting paid to do a job.

“How’s your daughter, Dr. Wick? I heard she was going through…a rough patch."

Her head lifts, her eyes flat. "Times up. I will have to see you more often since you're on sleeping medication. If it doesn't work, I recommend observation."

She is trying to deviate from what happened to her daughter. After Dravin fucked her ten ways from Sunday, the girl got attached. Poor thing needs therapy, from what I heard.

"Don't be so hard on her, Dr. Wick." I grin. "We all have voices telling us to do things."

* * *

The clink of a marker on the tray attached to the dry-erase board resonates inside the lecture hall. "Whose mistakes caused the tragedy between Romeo and Juliet?" Professor Elliot asks, sweeping his gaze across the room but is only met by silence. He opens his arms wide mockingly. "Anyone?"

I decided to take classic literature as an elective, even though my major is economics, because I wanted it to give me a perspective that I don't have, and one of them is romance, except, Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, but to me, it's true love.

The professor waits impatiently when no one volunteers to answer. His eyes scan the room once more, so he can call on someone. Garret and Dravin look at each other. Reid and Jess smile when Valen blurts, "Pick someone," then coughs, causing Gia to giggle and the rest of the class to laugh. I was surprised they all signed up for this class, but here we are.

"Mr. Vikiar, since you are so inclined for me to pick someone, why don't you answer for the rest of the class."

"It was Romeo's mistakes that led to the tragedy," Valen responds.

"Good. And why do you think love is the theme? Why is it so different, let's say…than poetry about love?"

Dravin glances at Gia, Reid at Jess. I finally realized why they took this class. It's because they are in love and want to learn something more meaningful. Love is the foundation of why they are here. Valen followed along because he felt the emotion and didn't recognize or know how to act on it.

I raise my hand because I know the answer, having read it fifteen times, looking for the same thing. The good and the simple emotion of love in something. Even if you can't find it in those you want.

"Miss Devlin!" he calls on me. The whole class turns around and my gaze lands on Valen. His eyes soften. His lips twitch, forming a small grin. A direct contrast to the glare aimed directly at me from Reid and Dravin.

I lower my hand, rub my lips together, and answer, "I think it's because Shakespeare didn't want to portray life like a cheesy poem. I believe Shakespeare wanted to write about love in its brutal form. Love is unforgiving. It's not the type of love you see in the beginning when Romeo is in love with Rosaline. It's the all-consuming kind he wanted to write about. For example, when Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time, their love is at first sight, and nothing else matters in that moment or after. Not hate, greed, or acceptance between two families. Everyone makes mistakes, but it was them against everyone, and the only way Romeo and Juliet could be together…was in death."

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