Page 77 of Only for Christmas

Throughout it all, Sarah stood rigid, held up by Lucas, trying to stem the shake in her body.

When Stephen finally wrapped up his speech and left the stage, she made to leave, but Lucas stopped her.

‘Hold fire,’ he whispered, pulling here close. ‘Don’t let him win. If you leave now, you’ll lose the upper hand.’

‘He did that on purpose. If I make a complaint now, it’ll look like I’m lying.’

‘I know, but if you leave, you’ll only draw further attention to yourself. Take a deep breath and look at me.’ His face was inches away from hers, handsome and kind. ‘Nothing’s going to happen tonight. Hang in there a little longer and then we’ll get out of here, okay?’

‘Aw, would you look at these two, all loved up!’ In her excitement, Georgia nearly spilt her champagne over Jafrina. ‘Get a room, will you. You’re making the rest of us jealous.’

‘Leave them alone,’ Jafrina said, moving away from Georgia’s wayward champagne flute. ‘It’s lovely to see. And I’m glad the new medical director recognises your talents, Sarah. You’ve been overlooked for too long. It was about time someone noticed how tirelessly you work. Good for you.’ She raised her own glass, and Sarah wanted to cry.

She felt like such a fraud. Pretending to be dating Lucas, covering up Stephen’s harassment and harbouring an illegal pet. For someone who was such a stickler for the rules, she sure had fallen off the wagon lately.

‘Excuse us,’ Lucas said, taking Sarah’s hand. ‘I’d like to dance with my girlfriend.’

Sarah allowed him to lead her onto the dancefloor, a welcome escape from her colleagues with their smiling faces and oblivion to her torment.

Lucas took her in his arms and held her tight, before slowly moving to the music. The string quartet were playing a waltz from Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty ballet, and several couples were dancing, filling the dancefloor. It took a while for her to relax and allow herself to be led. The exhaustion of it all helped. Lucas was the only thing holding her up.

‘I know this is hard, but Stephen’s made his play now,’ Lucas said, as they gently swayed to the music. ‘Forget about him for now; focus on me instead.’ He grinned at her and kissed the end of her nose. ‘Hi, I’m Lucas Moore. I live downstairs from you, and I think you’re really cute.’

She almost smiled. ‘I seem to remember seeing you around.’

‘I made an impression, huh?’

‘You’re a hard man to ignore.’

His expression turned serious. ‘Then don’t.’

His face was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. With his arm around her waist, and the other pressing her hand to his chest, something inside her melted a little.

‘I’m going to miss you,’ she whispered, almost to herself.

He seemed momentarily stunned. His dancing faltered ever so slightly, and he took a beat to recover. ‘That’s some admission. I might have expected a little thawing after a few glasses of champagne, but this early in the evening? Consider me surprised.’ His eyes were fixed on hers and it was quite intoxicating. No alcohol needed.

‘You were right, what you said last night. I have been unfair to you. I’ve been holding back and expecting you to deal with my insecurities, and that wasn’t fair of me.’

His expression softened. ‘You’re worth the effort.’

‘No, I’m not. You deserve so much better. But I realised something last night when I was lying in bed thinking about you.’

Both his eyebrows raised. ‘Okay, this is getting interesting.’

‘I shouldn’t be afraid of admitting I like you. You’re leaving on Tuesday. I’ll never see you again. It’s not like I’ve anything to lose by telling you how I feel.’

‘Right.’ He seemed to swallow awkwardly. ‘And how do you feel?’

‘Safe… Scared… Happy… Sad… Turned on… Mostly confused.’

He seemed to process this. ‘I’m going to come back to the “turned on” remark, but why scared?’

With the music acting as a mask, and the lights dimmed and atmospheric, it seemed the right moment to open up. ‘I’m scared of how I feel. I’ve managed very successfully to avoid feeling anything for five years. It hasn’t exactly been difficult. There’s been nothing to resist. No feelings to deny. I wanted nothing more than to be alone. You’ve made me realise that it’s easy to diet when you only have carrots in the fridge, but it’s a whole other ball game when someone brings you doughnuts.’

His face split into a grin. ‘You’re comparing me to a doughnut?’

‘The worst kind,’ she said, staring at his lips, and remembering how they felt pressed against hers. ‘Filled with cream and jam, covered in sticky sweet icing, and with added sprinkles on top. Eating one would trigger a massive sugar addiction. Diet over.’

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