“I will not have you talking to me like that!” she bellows, and like a lightning bolt, my memories come back in a flash.

Me reading a book quietly in the library, then hearing a loud noise. Running to the kitchen to see Helen lying on the ground, clutching her chest, my mother standing over her.

“You have no idea what you are talking about. You were a child,” my mother spits.

“You were standing over her that day. I remember now. I remember it clearly.” My nervous system starts to get out of control, and I clench my fists under the table, trying to stop them from shaking.

“You have no idea what you are talking about!” Her voice rises another octave as she looks frustrated, angry, and guilty all wrapped into one.

Me running, kneeling next to Helen, watching her face contort in pain. Tears coming to my eyes, not knowing what to do. Looking up at my mother, begging her to call someone to help.

“There was a bag of peanuts on the kitchen bench. I remember seeing a bag of nuts! Did you know she had a nut allergy, Mom?” I seethe as I sit forward on my seat, adrenaline coursing through my body as my leg starts to bounce, my jaw clenching. I hear Eddie take a breath as he connects the dots as well. Of course she knew. Nanny Helen would have had a full medical exam before she even stepped into our house.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. I called Dr. Wilson that day. He confirmed her death as a heart attack and wrote up the report himself! Now stop being so stupid.” She throws the words at me, but I don’t believe them.

“Dr. Wilson? As in, the man who was always at our house when Dad was out of town?” Harrison asks, looking like he is fitting puzzle pieces together in his mind. Being the older one of our family, he has his own recollection of things.

“Oh my…” Ben whispers, his eyes wide. Was my mom having an affair with Doctor Wilson?

“Wait, Dr. Wilson was at our house?” Eddie asks. As the youngest of us boys, he wouldn’t remember the doctor being around so much.

“Did you kill Nanny Helen?” I ask, not holding back any more punches, my breath catching on the words.

“What the hell has gotten into you all?” my mother says, looking at each of us, our eyes glued to her.

“Mom, tell me you didn’t. Look me in the fucking eyes and tell me you didn’t give Nanny Helen any nuts that day.” Slowly standing, my nostrils flare. We both know she did. I have no idea why, but I know she did.

“You can look at the death certificate yourself. Heart attack. Now sit down,” she says with venom, and it is not lost on me that she didn’t deny it. She is not meeting my eye, but I feel her fury rolling off her.

“I can’t fucking believe it.” Glancing at Harrison, I see him swallow. Ben looks white as a ghost, and Eddie just looks confused.

“Rather than dredging up the past, shouldn’t we be talking about your current issues, Tennyson?” she snides. “You are all quick to judge my parenting, but now look what has happened. You have the potential to have our whole business crashing by fucking your way around Baltimore!” I bite my tongue, because if I don’t, all hell will break loose. I know what she is doing. She is deflecting. Changing the subject, not wanting the heat on her anymore.

My heart is broken. Nanny Helen deserved so much more than what we gave her. What my mother did is shocking. How or why she did any of it, I have no idea, and the sad fact is that I know I never will. Doctor Wilson was close with my mom. Too close by the sounds of things. Both of them now complicit in this situation. But it was so long ago, I have no proof; I just have the flashbacks in my mind from when I was a kid. Even I know that is not going to do anything to warrant any investigation. I feel like shit. I want to vomit. I want a drink.

She looks at me as she sits back in her chair, her eyebrows arched like she has a checkmate.

“I am not a parent, and I don’t plan on being a parent; therefore, I have no parental responsibilities,” I grit out to her. I lean forward and balance myself on the table, my hands white-knuckled as I grip the timber. The last thing I need is her to weigh in on this paternity issue, but I should have been prepared for it.

“I shouldn't expect you to do right by the girl. Just like your father, bedding every woman in the state, yet taking no responsibility for it. You must marry this girl,” she pushes, shaking her head with disgust.

“The baby is not mine,” I seethe.

“Of course the baby is yours,” she half yells, her voice rising.

“Mom, we don’t have paternity yet,” Ben grits out from the side, and I can tell by the way he is holding the table himself, he is just as angry as I am. This is the only time he sees our mother now. At these quarterly business meetings. He has banished her from his life after what she did with Emily. Mom’s eyes flick to him momentarily before landing back on me.

“At least your publicity manager seems to know what she is doing, even if she shows me absolutely no respect at all,” she quips, the change of topic so quick, I nearly stumble. But now she has my full fucking attention.

“What are you talking about?” I demand, not liking her talking about Willow at all. The hairs rise on the back of my neck, and my eyes flick to my brothers, now understanding how they both felt when she involved herself in their relationships. I don’t like it, not one bit.

She eyes me warily. “She is very protective of you. But I will not stand for her to talking to me with such disrespect.” I am upset she is harassing Willow and Willow hasn’t told me. But a sly smile comes to my lips, knowing that Willow didn’t cower to her.

“What do you mean?” I ask, tilting my head in question. God, I couldn’t love Willow any more than I do right now.

“She is a horrible, disrespectful woman, who didn’t even attempt to take into consideration my thoughts on the issue,” she says, huffing, not happy about not getting her own way.

“She is the smartest one out of the lot of us,” I murmur, looking at my brothers. We all nod to each other in silent agreement that this meeting is now over.