Page 63 of Sinfully Shameless Chef

“And what?”

“Well, what the hell happened?”

The ultimate question I haven’t found an answer to yet.

“We, you know, did the deed, and then, he left.”

“Left where?”

Shit. Now I’m going to sound like a total hussy.

“Left here.”

“You had sex here?” She glances around the restaurant, almost like she's looking for evidence of our shenanigans.

“The kitchen.”

My domain. My safe space. The place I always feel closest to Grams and not so alone on those days when missing her becomes overwhelming. Only now that’s tainted by the memory of what that man did…of what we did.

Sylvie bursts out laughing, then slaps her hand over her mouth. “Shit. I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the health code violations.”

My laugh tumbles to join hers before I release a frustrated groan. “God, Sylvie, it was good. Really, really, really good. But then it got weird, and he left, and then I didn't see him for a while because I—”

I barely manage to catch myself. I'm so used to only having these conversations with Ashley that I almost let my weakness slip to Grant’s wife.

“And then his family showed up, and I got roped into dinner with them.”

“How was that?”

“Awkward as fuck, if I'm being honest.”

She chuckles and crosses her arms over her chest. “I can see that. If his siblings are anything like Jameson.”

“It was like being thrown into some massive inside joke. I felt like I was missing out on a lot of information I needed to understand what was going on. Lots of good-natured ribbing but also some tense moments. Some things they were keeping close to the chest.”

All families have secrets, things they don't want to discuss, especially with an outsider there. I shouldn’t be surprised by it, not when I’m keeping my own from everyone around me, but the fact is, I wanted to belong at that table more than I care to admit.

I wanted to laugh at their inside jokes and actually understand them. I wanted to be able to jump in with a witty jab and bring laughs to everyone around the table. I wanted sisters like Greer and Rachel who so clearly love with their entire hearts.

It never seemed like I was missing much growing up with Grams, but when I see a family together like that—even without their parents there—it definitely showed me what could have been had the world not been such a cruel place.

“Did you and Jameson resolve anything? Are you two together?”

“God no. No, we are very much not together. He made that definitively clear at dinner.”

“So, you guys had sex, then you had some awkwardness, now you're not going to have sex again, but you're still opening a restaurant right next to his, and you feel what? Guilty about that?”

“No. Not guilty. More like overwhelmed? I'm not sure I can compete with what Jameson and your husband are offering.”

Plus, that man just…gets under my skin. It feels like he’s exposing me with every look. Like he can see my weaknesses and plans to exploit them.

And I hate being vulnerable and refuse to be weak. It’s a promise I made to Grams—to always fight. I don’t want to fail her, but as the weeks pass and I move closer to opening, it feels like a battle I may not be able to win.

She motions back toward FURY. “There's no way you can compete with that, honey.”

“Jesus…thanks for just ripping the Band-Aid off, I guess.”

“No.” She steps forward and rubs my arm. “That's not what I meant. You shouldn't want to compete with that. Jameson has a totally different style—one that can’t be matched by anyone else on this planet. You have your own that you shouldn’t bend from. You do your thing and let Jameson do his. I don't even see you guys as rivals, to be honest with you.”

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