Page 59 of Sinfully Shameless Chef

“Why don’t you tell me how things have been going for you at work.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Her sigh of resignation fills the room, and she leans back in her chair. “Fine. We can pretend all of these other things aren't happening because ignoring things always makes them better.”

A tiny twinge of guilt hits me at her words. It's not about ignoring them. It's about being physically incapable of dealing with everything at one time. But I can’t admit that to her. I can’t admit how overwhelmed I've become or how many times I've been tempted just to give up before I collapse. She already worries about me too much. If I told her how I really felt lately, she undoubtedly would call Thaddeus for me.

I just need to make it to the opening. Once I do, the staff will be able to help me pick up some of the slack, and things will calm down a bit.

Unless they get ten times worse.

Like the situation with Jameson has.

With my luck—or should I say lack thereof—chances of that happening are pretty good. Though Grams, who was ever the optimist, would tell me to stop thinking that way.

I spoon two helpings of mac and cheese into bowls and carry them to the table.

Ashley digs into hers the moment I place it in front of her and moans. “God, it’s so good. Even after eating this in this kitchen for twenty years, it only seems to get better.”

Another recipe Grams handed down to me that we both grew up cooking with her.

“It’s going on the menu. I know it’s simple, but sometimes simple done perfectly is what people want.”

At least, I hope so.

Ashley rests her hand on mine on the table. “People are going to love it, Iz. Really. Your grandmother was the best cook I ever met, until you. You take her recipes and make magic with them. The people of Bushwick are lucky to have you.”

I aimlessly stir the food in my bowl, my appetite suddenly vanishing. “That’s what I keep telling myself. But you should have seen this spread Jameson did last night. It was incredible. I always knew I had talent, but he’s truly gifted.”

She scoffs and takes another big bite. “Stop it. Stop comparing yourself to him. Stop fantasizing about his monster cock. Just stop. You’re going to drive yourself nuts.”

I chuckle and force myself to take a bite of the dinner intended to warm and settle me like a soothing balm. Instead, the familiar taste only makes me wish Grams were here more so I could get her perspective on things.

“I think I already am nuts, Ash.”

“Then get un-nuts and get your ass back on track. Don’t let a man distract you from your endgame.”

My endgame.

I thought I knew what that was, but Jameson has blurred the lines and various paths so much that I can’t keep them straight anymore.

It’s embarrassing since I never thought I would be that girl, yet here I am, pining away and wondering where things went awry with a guy I never intended to even like, let alone get under my skin so badly.

If Grams saw me now, she’d probably literally kick me in the ass and tell me to buck up. So, I guess I need to do it for myself now. Too bad I’m not anywhere near that flexible.

15

JAMESON

The simple act of climbing out of my SUV is painful enough that it makes me groan like an old man. It feels like I was hit by a Mack truck, and I guess I kind of was.

It wasn't even this bad last night, sitting at the game with everyone. That’s because the pain always seems to be worse the second day. If it had been like this last night with Bash, Rach, and Flynn next to me all three periods, someone would have noticed and called me out.

It was hard enough explaining away the shiner. They seemed to buy my story about a board falling when I was helping Danny get the partition wall up for the server station, but I think they secretly thought Isabella had given it to me after some clandestine meeting I didn’t tell them about.

If I had revealed the truth, that would have led to questions I’m not ready to answer.

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