“We’re going to get through it.”
I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure what to say.
She had a point, but reality was often very different from theory.
Theoretically, I hadn’t done anything wrong.
However, how Kingston, the band, and the public perceived my having done porn could be something else entirely. And there was no way to find out until I got to London.
Since I couldn’t do anything about any of it right now, I closed my eyes and tried to rest.
* * *
We landed just after eight in the morning, and Jesse seemed to be dragging.
The longer it took to get through customs, the worse she appeared to be and I waited as she went to the bathroom yet again.
“You all right?” I asked when she came out.
Her eyes met mine. “I don’t know. I just got my period—and it’s bad. We need to get to a pharmacy or drug store.”
“We’ll find one at the hotel.”
“Okay.”
We got in a cab and Jesse dozed off with her head on my shoulder as I stared out at the bustling London streets. Traffic was insane so I was glad I wouldn’t be driving in it, but I was so fascinated by the sights I was almost disappointed when we got to the hotel.
“Hey, we’re here.” I nudged Jesse as I got out of the cab.
She got out and paused, holding her stomach. “Jesus, I’ve never had cramps this bad.”
“Let’s check in and I’ll ask about a pharmacy or whatever.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m going to shower and take a nap. If I can get some Motrin, it’ll pass.”
“You go sit down while I check in.”
I went to the desk and got my room key, grateful Sasha had pulled strings to get us early check-in. I needed a nap before sound check, and then I had to get my head in the game. It was New Year’s Eve, and tonight was a big deal.
The biggest gig of my life, so I couldn’t be dragging.
Jesse disappeared into the bathroom, and I pulled out what I was going to wear on stage tonight. On a whim, I’d packed the Louboutins Kingston had bought me for Christmas. I didn’t know if he would even talk to me, but deep down, I was still holding out hope.
For him.
For me.
For us.
“Dev?” Jesse came out of the bathroom in nothing but a T-shirt.
“You okay?” I asked, worried at the way she was hunched over, holding her stomach.
“I’m bleeding bad… like, this can’t be a period.”
My eyes met hers. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, but from what I’ve been reading online it could be a…miscarriage.”