Page 32 of Rock God

Damn him.

“I have to go,” I whispered, slowly pulling away.

His eyes were still closed and he nodded without opening them.

“I know.”

“Can we pretend none of this happened?” I asked in what I hoped was a calm voice that didn’t reveal the pounding of my heart.

His eyes fluttered open and he gave me a rueful smile. “Technically, nothing did happen so there’s no reason to pretend.”

“We can be friends, right?” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

He focused his emerald-green eyes on me, waiting for me to continue.

I wanted him.

He wanted me.

But it was a disaster in the making if we acted on it.

Somehow, I had to make him understand that without ruining our friendship or our professional relationship.

“I’ve done the whole get-involved-with-someone-in-your-band thing,” I admitted. “And it went really wrong. I promised myself never again. Especially not now. We don’t need the pressure, and like I told you in the beginning, I never want anyone to think I got this gig by fucking someone in the band.” Even though I wanted to. And worse than that, I wanted Kingston to find me attractive enough to want to. But no one else.

Was I on the hot mess express to nowhere, or what?

“You’ve already got this gig,” he pointed out.

“It’s all about perception.”

He sighed but nodded. “That it is. And yeah, we can be friends.”

“You sure?”

I hated the insecurity in my voice and how complicated that was becoming.

“Yeah.” He took a step back but continued to gaze at me, the question in his eyes impossible to miss, even before he asked it. “Did he…hurt you?”

“Who?” I asked, unsure what he meant.

“The guy you were involved with in your old band?”

“Oh.” I looked away, unwilling to think about that jerk any more than necessary. He’d hurt me in so many ways, manipulating me into doing things I didn’t want to do. Using my emotions and feelings for him to convince me to be with other men. Threesomes. So many things I wished I could forget. “Yeah, he did. More than I can put into words.”

“Do you still love him?”

I snorted. “Not a chance in hell.”

“Then you shouldn’t let his bad memories taint new, potentially good ones.”

“Normally, I don’t, but this is different. There’s too much at stake for me, Kingston. You know that somewhere deep inside, even if you don’t want to acknowledge it.”

“I guess you’re right. It would be complicated for us to be randomly hooking up, especially with us on tour together.”

“Exactly. And I’m at a pivotal point in my career. There’s no time for a relationship,” I replied, even though his comment managed to frustrate me.

We’d just agreed a simple hook up was a bad idea, so a relationship wasn’t even part of the conversation. But hearing him insinuate all he was interested in was sex was somehow disappointing.

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