Page 106 of Rock Bottom

My mother had arranged a casual brunch and almost everyone in attendance at the service had been invited.

“All right. Let me just tell Presley.”

I told her the plan, and five minutes later the four of us were in Kingston’s limo.

“Has anyone read the letter?” I asked as soon as the doors closed behind us.

Kingston slowly pulled it out of the pocket of his jacket, shaking his head. “The cops read it, to verify what it was, but I haven’t yet.”

“Maybe it’s time,” I suggested.

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded warily. “Let’s get it over with.”

“Fuck.” Kellan let out a huff.

“All right. Here goes.” Kingston blew out a breath and slowly unfolded the piece of hotel stationery Carter had written on. “My dudes. How’s it hangin’? I’ll bet you’re all pissed at me, and I’m sorry about that. But don’t look at it that way. I did what I needed to do. Being sober was too hard. In case you’ve forgotten, my mom was on crack during her pregnancy, so I was born addicted. I never had a chance to beat this, and frankly, after thirty years, I’m tired.

“I’m about to go score and go out on top. Professionally and personally, believe it or not. Aunt Meg became the mom I never had and no, you crass motherfuckers—I wasn’t doing her. Jesus. I know that’s what you all thought, and Meg and I laughed about it a lot, but that wasn’t it at all. I fell a little in love with her because she represented the one thing I never had. A mom. So get your heads out of the gutter.

“Okay, now I need to be serious for a minute. I know I’ve left you in a mess with the band. I get it. But this isn’t the end. That’s not what I want, and it’s not what our fans want. You need to replace me. Find someone who’s going to rock with you like I did. Maybe even better. Take the summer to find the right fit and hit the road hard this fall. Promote the fuck out of the album. I have one final request for that. Would you mind titling it, ‘Love, Carter’? Some of the songs on this one were my favorites, and since it’s my last, I’d like that. Please.

“It’s getting late, and I have a few more letters to write, so here are the last few things I want to leave you with. First, I don’t want you fuckers to be mad or sad for too long. Okay? Promise? I’m in a better place. Any place where I’m no longer an addict, jonesing for my next fix, is a better place. I would’ve spent the rest of my life hating myself every time I gave in to the pull. I want to be done. I am done.

“Second, I need you to fire the fuck out of Aurora. You’ll find out all my secrets when my attorney reads the will. I just want to say I’m sorry, because she’s been holding shit over my head. I was trying to protect the innocent. Mostly Tommy—but the threesome was your idea, man. That’s all I’m going to say about that.”

“Jesus fuck,” Tommy muttered, looking like someone had just punched him in the head.

“Should I keep reading?” Kingston asked.

“Finish it,” I said.

“Finally, I need you guys to take care of River. My son. He’s innocent in all this and without me around, you guys need to step up. Tommy, don’t blame Harley. This is between you and me. I was in love with her, but she was in love with you. In the end, she left us both. The baby was an accident. But he’s going to need a dad. Four uncles would be okay too. If you can’t forgive me, please forgive her. She put us, the brotherhood of the band, before herself. I took care of them financially, and now I need you guys to step up and do the rest. River needs a father figure so he doesn’t grow up as fucked up as I did.

“Okay, that’s it. I love you guys. Don’t stay mad at me too long, all right? Even if you don’t agree, I’m doing what was right for me. Carter. P.S. I saw a bass player not that long ago on the Strip who blew me away. If you’re going to hold auditions, make sure you invite Devyn Cates.”

* * *

We sat there for a long time, digesting the contents of Carter’s final message. It didn’t seem like there was much we could say. We’d somehow missed that Carter had a death wish, and I wasn’t even going to try and dissect the whole love triangle thing with him, Tommy, and Harley. That was between them. And frankly, at this point, what difference did it make?

“We should take a day to think about things,” Kingston said as we pulled into the big circular driveway in front of my house.

“I don’t want to talk band business tonight,” I said. “Tonight is about remembering Carter. But tomorrow, before we meet with Aurora, we need to have made a decision. Are we firing her? Because I’ll be honest—I’m out if we’re not.”

There was only a short silence before Kingston said, “I’m done with her. She fucked you over and she was actively trying to manipulate Carter. We don’t need that kind of aggravation.”

“Agreed.” Kellan nodded.

“Yeah.” Tommy scratched his head. “I thought loyalty was important, but she’s not really loyal to us. She’s only loyal to the cut she takes from all our money.”

“I’ll call Rodney tomorrow,” Kingston said, referring to our attorney. “Get him to deal with the contractual parts of this.”

“I don’t give a shit about the money. If she wants residuals from this album, give them to her. I just want her gone.” I rested my hand on the car door. “But we don’t say anything tonight.”

“Agreed.”

We walked into the house as a group, and it took me a while to greet the handful of guests who’d gotten here before us. I needed to find Presley, though, so I went upstairs to our room. She wasn’t there, but I heard voices in Jeremy’s room.

“He’s so beautiful,” Cheyenne’s familiar voice was saying. “Look at those eyes!”

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